Page 142 of Before She Disappeared

“Me,” I hear myself say. “Shoot me. The kids are no threat to you.”

“You bitch. You shouldn’t have come back here.”

“The police are on their way. Run now, while you have the chance. I’ll lie. Leave Angelique and Emmanuel alone, and I’ll send the police in the opposite direction. I promise.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does. Deke told us everything, about the website, the fake student visas, Livia’s murder. It’s over now. Take your profits and get out.”

“I still have my prize.” Frédéric grabs Angelique by the arm, forcing her to stand. She gasps in pain. Her face is bloody, but in her eyes I see a fierce light of determination, or maybe it’s simply hatred for this man. It doesn’t matter, I’ll take either, as I finally spy the bat. Two feet behind her to the left. Too far for me to reach, but maybe not for her. If I can just distract Frédéric, buy Angelique a moment of time.

My gaze, darting to the bat, back to her, the bat. Her eyes widen slightly. I think she understands. I remember what Emmanuel said: His sister doesn’t dream, she plans. And I think that I’m very sorry I’ll never get to meet this amazing young woman, because there’s only one way I can think to grab Frédéric’s attention, and it doesn’t end so well for me.

Emmanuel, whimpering from the floor. Angelique, tensing in anticipation.

Frédéric, raising his gun.

And me...

I’m back in a liquor store, ten years ago. A young kid, sweating in desperation and shaking with withdrawal, waving a pistol all about. “Give me your money! All of it, now!”

Except I don’t have any money. I just spent the last of it on a bottle of vodka, right before I broke and called Paul and begged him, all these months later, to come save me from myself. Now the store clerk is wide-eyed and anxious.

Only Paul is calm, as he steps forward, raises his arms in a placating motion. “Easy now. No need for anyone to get hurt.”

Did the kid mean to pull the trigger? Or did it just happen? All these years later, I still don’t know. I just remember the sound of the gunshot. The look of horror on the kid’s face. And the look of surprise on Paul’s as he sank down, down, down.

The kid fled out the door.

And Paul...

Paul.

Now, I keep my eyes open. I want to see it coming. I want to watch death finally find me.

As I look Frédéric right in the eye, and charge forward. A split second where I register the shock in his face. He isn’t expecting it. He jerks the trigger wildly, releasing Angelique as he braces for contact.

She rolls to the side. Please grab the bat, I think—as I register pain, so much fucking pain. I drop, rolling across the floor, keep rolling.

Bang, bang, bang.

Screaming. Angelique’s, my own, Emmanuel’s.

Followed by a new booming voice. “Stop! Police! Lower your weapon!”

Lotham explodes into the classroom, leading with his pistol.

Frédéric pivots wildly, caught off guard by this fresh threat. Angelique appears behind him, bat raised high.

“LiLi,” Emmanuel cries.

“Police!” Lotham shouts again.

Paul is down. Paul is bleeding.

No, it’s me now. I am down, I am bleeding.

Angelique swings the bat. She connects with the side of his head, but not quite hard enough. Frédéric turns, gun still in hand...

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