Page 60 of Forcing Fate

“I can’t sleep.”

“Could you lay on your cot then? Play quietly with your doll?” I asked. The nannies would let the older children skip nap time if they were quiet.

“I can’t, I keep seeing it.”

His words gripped my heart like a vice. I knew what he meant by ‘it’. He saw the Shadows. He saw the evil, vile corruption they wrought.

I swallowed against the lump in my throat, and nodded. “I’ll come and sit with you then.” My soul shattered with the smile he gave me as he put his thumb back in his mouth and led me to his room.

His cot lay among four others, cramped inside a tiny space. The other children tossed and turned, trying to find sleep, or fighting whatever plagued their dreams. Ran climbed onto his cot and waited for me to sit and lean my back against the wall before climbing in my lap.

“It’s ok, Gwyn. Miss ‘anna is here now,” he whispered to his doll.

My eyes pricked with tears, and I pulled him close. Gwyn was his sister’s name.

As I looked around the room, a wave of fury crashed over me. These were children. Small, innocent souls who had no right to be attacked. They were helpless. They suffered the worst and were not even the ones the Shadows were after.

Ran would live with this trauma for the rest of his life. He would carry it with him as a black hole in his heart, never fully healing.

My father was gone, but I still had my mother. I was lucky. I hadn’t seen the Shadows face to face or felt their terror. Ran was so young, so fragile, and yet, he faced each day despite his pain. He was stronger than me.

I hated the Shadows—hated them for the damage they wrought, for the childhoods they stole, for the innocence they ravaged from women. A weight settled on my chest and my jaw ached from grinding my teeth. I despised them for the fear they implanted in us. I loathed them with every fiber of my being.

“Miss ‘anna?” Ran whispered.

I looked down, and a hot, angry tear fell down my cheek.

“You’ll keep me safe?” His voice was so pure, so trusting.

“Yes, Ran, I’ll keep you safe. I won’t let it get you or Gwyn.” I pulled him closer and stroked his brow.

A plan formed in my mind, and I latched onto it with everything I had.

I would keep him safe.

Dragon Rider or not, I would do my part.

Chapter Seventeen

I finished my duties with the children and leaned against a wall, watching the bustle of women and refugees. They were almost all settled, at least in temporary accommodations. Master Elenor looked up from the group of ladies she helped and spotted me. She frowned and made her way over, weaving through children and belongings. Coming to a stop before me, she peered down at me with one thin brow arched in question.

“I’m going to be indisposed for the next few days,” I murmured.

She offered me this task as a temporary job to keep me busy and get me working again. We both knew she never intended for me to stay here and help her for the rest of my days. She wanted me to move on with my life, and this had been her way of helping.

Well, I was certainly moving on.

“Oh? What exactly will have you so indisposed?” she asked.

“I’m taking another job. But I’ll help where I can if it’s needed.” Though, with the dozens of other women from the dorms, she wouldn’t need me.

Tenderness softened her features. “It’s good to keep busy. I’m thankful for your assistance, Avyanna.”

“Thank you for getting me out of my room,” I replied with a shy grin.

If it hadn’t been for her and Master Niehm, I would have wallowed in self-pity for the rest of my days. I would have never seen the need to help defend the homelands, to protect little ones like Ran.

“Anytime, darling,” she said with a small smile—as much of a smile as one would get from her in public. She turned, pulled away by someone calling her name.

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