Page 182 of Forcing Fate

Rafe’s eye flashed to me, then spoke. “We’re setting out in four days. We’re heading north.”

A thrum of panic resonated through me.

I wasn’t ready—nowhere near ready. We were supposed to have another few months of training and preparation. Sure, my confidence had improved, but now faced with imminent danger, I felt like I was a pawn in some grand scheme.

A pawn that could easily be killed.

“Oh? What calls us there?” Jamlin asked.

“There’s been unrest. This Solstice will be the last reprieve you get.”

Jamlin took that news with a flinch and grunt. I studied Rafe, wondering why he didn’t tell them what he told me. Perhaps he wanted to avoid frightening them? I looked around the room at the men, all bigger and stronger than I. If he didn’t want to frighten them, why would he tell me?

Rafe’s dark eye assessed me. “I hope you enjoyed yourself.”

“I did, actually–” I started, pleased that he was talking to me.

“I’ll be heading out with you tomorrow. No one travels alone,” he said, cutting me off.

Jamlin shifted on his feet. “It’s the Solstice, we’re free to–”

“Soldiers are free to do as they will. My Tennan is not. You will pair up and accompany one another on your travels. That’s all.”

General Rafe rose and started toward the staircase. I watched him go, puzzled. He ripped off his tunic in a rough, aggravated motion, and I tore my gaze away from his broad back.

We’d travel in pairs? Was he afraid of losing one of his Tennan to the Shadows? Were they that close now? Was he afraid because we were his miniature army? Or because he had grown to care for us?

I returned to my cot while Jam gazed up at Rafe’s loft. I took my time packing my gifts away, thinking of tomorrow. If Rafe was coming with me, that was going to make quite an impression on my mother.

‘Hail, mother! Your little girl has joined the army! And I’m being sent off to my death in two days, thanks to this monster of a man. By the way, I also have feelings for him. Mother, what should I do about them?’

I bit my cheek. That would go over well.

I retrieved my clean uniform and stepped into the small room to change. I hadn’t bathed today, but Rafe didn’t seem like he was in the mood to go gallivanting through the night so I could clean up.

I left my tunic loose and slipped into my cot, pulling the blanket over my shoulders. I closed my eyes and felt dread wind through me. It would be a long night, thinking of all the ways I could die.

When I woke the next morning, most of the men were pairing up and heading out. I listened to their low voices and tucked my tunic in my trousers, tightening the belt. Garion was going with Tegan and Collins. Zephath and Xzanth were joining up. Jamlin was with Korzak and the twins were leaving for a nearby village. Thankfully, not Hamsforth, where Rafe and I would be headed.

I waved farewell as they all shuffled out the doors with glances back at the loft. Rafe leaned over the stone banister, peering down at me as the door shut behind them. His tunic was off, and I couldn’t see his lower half.

“Good morn, Vy.”

Oh, today was going to be tough. As soon as I heard that rough morning voice, I knew I was done for. I swallowed and looked down at my stockings.

“Morn,” I squeaked.

He chuckled, and a blush heated my cheeks. He knew what he was doing—he had to. As I grabbed my boots, I sucked in a deep breath to calm my beating heart. I could do this—I could get through today. I wouldn’t mess up now.

My cot creaked as I sat to lace up my boots, repeating the mantra in my head. I could do this. What was one more day of being close, yet unable to act on my attraction? This was the same as every other day.

Except we would be alone.

Except he would meet my mother.

Except I was giving him a Solstice gift.

“Rafe, I–”

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