Page 173 of Forcing Fate

I blushed, realizing I sat there ogling him, and stood. “I’ll be quick.”

He snorted in disbelief and turned back to watch the sun dip toward the lake.

I hurried to the spring and washed quickly. It was much faster now that my hair was so short. Longing rang through me at the memory of my long intricate braids. I bit my lip and scrubbed at my nails. When I returned from the front, I would let it grow out.

I slowed, thinking that through. Did I want to return? What would I do when my years were up? When I was a free woman again? Would I want to leave Rafe?

I frowned at that thought. I didn’t want to leave him. He was irritating, but I was like a moth to a flame with him. Sometimes he pushed me away, and other times I couldn’t help but want to be close to him. Whether he was at the front or not, shouldn’t influence what I wanted to do after my years were up… yet it did.

Sighing, I hurried to finish washing and dress. The cavern was still somewhat warm, but the air outside took on the chill of nightfall.

With my soiled clothes and toiletries under my arm, I returned to where Rafe waited on the beach. He didn’t look up, but I noted he had donned his tunic. His arms were bare to the cold, and I didn’t understand how he wasn’t chilled at all. I pulled my long sleeves lower around my hands and sat beside him, placing my belongings on the sand.

We sat in silence, content to watch the waves lap at the shore. I studied his face, knowing he could see me. He ignored my stare and looked on, lost in thought.

I pulled my knees up and rested my head on them, watching him. Lines creased the corners of his eye, surely from squinting in the sun for so many years, not from smiling. He had a faint scar on his cheek, small, and fine enough that most might not notice. He had a firm jaw that portrayed masculinity… and stubbornness.

My eyes trailed down to his neck where the scars became more common, smaller ones littering his neckline and traveling below his tunic. His shoulders were broad and solid. His arm was thick, almost as thick as my thigh, and corded in strong muscles. Over his shoulder he had the flying dragon tattooed, revealing his rank as General.

I reached out before I thought better of it and traced the ink staining his skin. He turned a fraction to glance at me before returning his gaze to the lake.

I blushed, afraid he would push me away, but he let me be. My heart skipped a beat as I traced the dragon’s wing. It was a perfect replica of the General’s patch. I wondered what would happen if he were ever demoted. Would he lose his arm? Would they carve it out of his skin?

My fingertips trailed down his arm to his elbow, then followed the thick vein down his forearm to his wrist. Something unfurled inside me, something my brain screamed was dangerous. I swallowed the nerves threatening to close off my throat and grasped his hand lying in his lap.

He turned to face me full on, and my heart faltered at the look in his eye.

Longing burned in his gaze. And such turmoil. I’d never seen him like that. He never let his guard down, never let people see the true Rafe. Whatever he had been thinking about tore down the mental barrier he always had up. Empathy surged within me, wanting to erase whatever hurt he had. He was the strong leader—the invincible one. He wasn’t supposed to hurt.

I pushed myself to my knees and trailed my hands to his face. His dark gaze held mine, but he didn’t move. He spoke with his eye, whether he realized it or not, pleading for help, for comfort. Something rose within me, a desire to protect. Perhaps it was a feminine impulse to safeguard what I deemed was mine. Either way, whatever hurt my General would pay.

I touched his jaw and slipped my fingers under the cloth covering his eye. He flinched, and a sharpness flashed in his right eye. He smothered his emotion as quickly as it came, and watched me, guarded and curious.

Gently, I tugged the cloth off. His eyebrows snapped together in a frown, but his left eye opened, squinting against the light. I cupped the back of his head and leaned forward. My pulse raced, excited, but I worried he would push me away.

What was I doing?

My heart threw that thought to the side, deeming it unimportant.

I pressed in close and placed a chaste kiss over his injured eye. I pulled back, terrified he would laugh or curse, but he sat motionless, regarding me. Seeing both his eyes open was disconcerting, simply because I was so accustomed to his patch.

“You don’t need to wear this around me,” I breathed, clutching the cloth at the nape of his neck.

“My fearless kitten, I don’t wear it for you.”

My breath rushed out in a quiet laugh at his deep voice. He smirked, but didn’t pull away. I traced the scars near his eye, wondering what happened. I didn’t want to ask—didn’t want to break this spell, whatever it was.

At this moment, I was simply Avyanna, and he was Rafe. We were two broken mortals, each suffering in our own way, trying to make it by in life. Just trying to survive. For a few breaths, I let myself think he was just another man, and I, just a simple woman.

We sat there for what seemed like both an eternity and mere moments, looking at each other. There was such power in being as small and frail as I was, holding the biggest, strongest, fiercest man I knew. I felt empowered, simply by touching him, knowing for just a moment he needed it, and tolerated it from me.

“Stay like this much longer,” he rumbled, “and someone will get the wrong idea.”

His voice caused my belly to clench. I cleared my throat and pulled my hands away, a blush heating my cheeks. My heart instantly objected to the loss of warmth and closeness, while my brain heaved a sigh of relief. He stood and brushed the sand off his trousers, and I followed suit. Picking up our toiletries, I handed him his cloth covering. He grabbed it but paused when I didn’t release it right away.

“I mean it. You don’t have to wear it.” I let go and studied the silver current in his left eye. I knew he could see me through it, even if it was damaged.

Damaged or not, it was part of him, and it was beautiful.

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