Page 144 of Forcing Fate

His Tennan was often the topic of discussion in the dining hall. He collected six soldiers from the companies and, with winter fast approaching, everyone was making bets on the next soldier he’d recruit.

“My money’s on Collins,” Rory said one night while devouring a meat pie.

“The skinny kid?” Sergeant Greyson asked, puzzled.

Willhelm tilted his head as he ate, watching his friends. I picked at my food, sick of hearing about the great General and his new team.

“Aye. He’s a terrible soldier, but quick as a rabbit. He’s a smart lad,” Rory said between bites.

Corporal Bane’s cold eyes surveyed the soldiers in the dining hall, watching their movements, keeping an idle ear on everything around him. He was ever the silent, judging type.

“He’s in Fredrick’s company. He won’t like that,” Willhelm commented.

“Not like anyone has a choice. Eh, Bane?” Sergeant Greyson sighed, resting his chin on his hand.

“None at all,” Bane droned.

His hawkish gaze settled on someone, and I fought the urge to turn and look.

“To be fair, we might have to thank him in the end. The soldiers he’s taking are bodies, but they all seem to do poorly in training.” Rory shrugged.

Willhelm glanced at me, and a blush warmed my cheeks. He knew as well as anyone how awful I was. I was just as they expected—a weak woman who couldn’t hold her own. My company seemed to feel as though they had to double their efforts to make up for my lack of skill.

I stabbed a knife into my pie.

“He’s not taking the weak ones,” Corporal Bane added.

I looked up and met his cold stare. His icy blue eyes cut through me, condemning me as if I was too weak to be considered. I frowned and stood, pushing my uneaten pie to the side.

“Avyanna?” Willhelm looked at me curiously.

“I’m turning in early. I’ll see you on the morrow,” I said with a wave, heading out of the hall.

The nights were growing cold once again, and I shivered, plunging into the chilled evening air. I rolled my shoulders and rested my hand on my bandit breaker. The sun’s setting rays lit the sky, but I learned never to be caught off guard.

General Rafe still trained me, though he grew rougher and colder during our sessions. That wasn’t new, as he’d always been distant and hard, but I found myself pulling away. He never mentioned joining his Tennan again, but at the end of our bouts, he’d stare, as if waiting for something. Every time I sensed the question in his silence.

I always left with no reply.

I was grateful to General Rafe for so many things. He was brash and boorish, but was willing to teach me—though he was a terrible teacher. Even so, I did learn from him. He treated me as fairly as he did anyone. Even I had to admit—he was a good man, in a way.

I scoffed to myself as I walked to the bunkhouse. If he ever heard me mention that I thought him a good man, he’d put me on the ground and strut away with his signature smirk.

Inside, I crossed the space to my room with a nod to the secretary. A few soldiers laid in their bunks or stripped out of their uniforms. I ignored them as steadfastly as they ignored me.

That was fine with me.

I entered my glorified storage closet and lit my lantern before shutting the door. I changed into a clean tunic and stepped out of my trousers. It was not as comfortable as my night shifts of old, but it fell to my thighs and if I loosened the lacing at the top, it was comfortable enough to sleep in. Then the next morning, I only had to pull on my trousers to be ready for my day.

I shoved my cot in front of my door, as I always did, and climbed in. It’s not that I had any reason to be afraid. I was confident in my self-defense abilities now. Nobody attempted to get in after the incident with Victyr, but I refused to let down my guard.

Not even for one night.

After putting out the lantern, I settled on the thin mattress. I still needed to write to my mother and tell her not to come in the autumn. I wouldn’t have any time off, aside from the Winter Solstice, but I wasn’t sure if she could make it in the snow. She wasn’t as young as she used to be, and getting around was difficult. I wanted to see her terribly, and let her know I truly was grateful for her. Through the past few months, I learned to appreciate her and her sacrifices more than ever.

Not every parent made an effort with their children once they were sent to the King’s schools. Some were forgotten about and were related in name only. Any familial ties faded away over the years. My mother’s visits were something I took for granted, and I wanted to express my thanks.

I thought of everyone I had to be thankful for, those who I hadn’t expressed my gratitude for. Niehm and Elenor were irreplaceable. Without them, I would have never made it through my transition from the rejected Chosen to a soldier.

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