Page 125 of Forcing Fate

“She’ll be fine. Please stand watch outside. We may have company,” Elenor urged him.

He needed no more convincing and ducked out of the cave with a shrug.

“Someone else is using this spring? Who else would need to?” Niehm asked with confusion.

“Are you well enough to bathe yourself?” Elenor asked, unfastening my cloak.

“I think so. I’ll try to hurry.”

She nodded and motioned Niehm to a stone and took a seat beside her with their backs to me. “I’ve heard another has been seen regularly heading this way at night.”

“Who?” Niehm pressed.

I pulled off my clothes and quickly slipped into the spring. It felt as though my body pulled from every reserve it had to operate. I washed as quickly as my sluggish motions allowed, taking no time for luxury.

“Our dear General.”

“No–” Niehm breathed in disbelief.

My hands stilled in my soapy hair, and I dropped my gaze to the water.

“He’s never bathed with the other men. The women used to gossip about him bathing in the lake, but with it frozen over, that theory is no longer valid.”

I could’ve died of humiliation—keeled over right then and there. “So he uses this water?”

“Pray tell why you would be appalled, Avyanna,” Elenor called over her shoulder.

“This spring empties like the rest, and you’ve shared spring water often enough that I wouldn’t think you would be that horrified,” Niehm added.

“No, but—during my moon cycle,” I choked out.

Since joining the army, my cycle had remained consistent. Though with the rigorous training and physical exertion, it had been much heavier. Dealing with a moon cycle in a barracks of men was mortifying.

I learned to keep a small bucket with a lid and wash my used sanitary cloths with my clothes each night when I washed my uniform. During that time, I took a risk and tried to find the most secluded spot and wash the cloths first before anyone found me. Then I would move to a more public location to wash my uniform.

I hated my moon cycle in the barracks. Living in the women’s wing of the dorm, it was a common occurrence. No one said anything, and everyone treated it like it was nothing special. It was simply something that women dealt with.

In a barracks full of men, however, it was a different story. Men could see blood gushing from a severed artery, see intestines spilled in front of them, see someone’s bone cleaved clean in two and not even flinch. Yet, if they caught sight of moon blood, or heard someone discussing a moon cycle, it was the most horrifying thing.

I looked down at the clear water that at times had run pink from moon blood and closed my eyes in utter humiliation.

“Avyanna?” Niehm’s voice carried a hint of amusement.

I opened my eyes to find her smiling at me. She laughed and turned her back to me again.

“It’s not that horrifying,” she laughed. “You’ve been using it longer than him, I’d wager. If he came in and the water did not run clear, he is free to bathe with the rest of the men!”

“As ignorant as men often wish to act, they are not ignorant of our moon flows. During that week, I’m sure he can find somewhere else to bathe if he craves his privacy so,” Elenor added.

I lowered my chin into the water. Why couldn’t I get away from this man? Why did he haunt me wherever I turned? For the past few months, I had barely heard from him. He was always there, yes, but he was never mentioned. No one spoke of him.

Now it seemed as though I couldn’t escape the madman.

I sighed and hauled myself out of the water, drying and dressing with shaking fingers. Steam kept the room somewhat warm, but the cold of winter still bit at me as I dressed.

Niehm came to my side and wrapped my cloak around me, leading me to sit on the stone beside Elenor. She settled in, taking a comb to my hair.

“Avyanna,” Elenor started.

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