Page 50 of Forcing Fate

“Ladies, please, have a seat.” Master Brann motioned to the chairs.

Numbly, I took a seat beside my mother, across from Master Elenor and Master Niehm. My stare dropped to the wood grain of the table, refusing to make eye contact with anyone. If I didn’t witness the alternating compassion and pity in their eyes, I could justify my behavior.

“Miss Annabelle, it is good to see you,” Master Brann addressed my mother. “Are you well? We were informed that you intended to be here for Hatching Day. You were sorely missed.”

Sorely missed because they probably hoped she could have kept me from making a fool of myself.

“Yes, I am well, my lord. I became ill, and no travelers were willing to take me along with them. I so wish I had been here yesterday.” My mother placed her hand over mine in my lap and giving it a squeeze. “I would have given everything to be here for you, Avyanna.”

I lifted my eyes, seeing her sorrow for me, her empathy. She couldn’t know how I felt, but I was her daughter. Anything that hurt me, hurt her. Perhaps it was my physical exhaustion from not sleeping for two days, but I just… didn’t care.

I stared at the table again, and didn’t offer a reply.

“It’s good to hear you’re well. We were all worried for you,” Master Brann started. “Now, Miss Avyanna, I know this is hard for you.”

Anger flared, burning at the emptiness inside. My jaw clenched. He knew it was hard for me? What he knew was I failed. He gave me a second chance, and I blew it. He wouldn’t understand how it felt to be the first in recorded history to be refused twice. My name would be sounded to every class of Riders from here on out as the one who was rejected. The one who the Masters chose and coddled and failed despite it.

“This was unexpected and we understand it will be a difficult time for you. I think it would be wise for you to take some time for yourself to come to terms with what happened,” he continued.

“I disagree,” Master Niehm stated.

The flatness of her tone drew my attention. Anger licked at my bones, and she matched my glare with her chin held high.

“I think Miss Avyanna should stay busy. Perhaps she can assist around the dorms for now.”

For now. Until I made use of my life somehow.

“I agree,” Master Elenor said. “Idle time does not do anyone any favors.”

I didn’t bother looking at her. I had no interest in seeing those cold, hard eyes showing no mercy.

“Miss Annabelle, what do you think?” Master Brann asked my mother.

I attempted to pull my hand from my mother’s, but she held firm. Here they were, all discussing what to do with me, as if I was some dog that hadn’t turned out how they hoped. What to do with the poor child now?

I had no future, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t want to have a say in my future. Realistically, I understood they only spoke of the next month or so. Still, I couldn’t help thinking I would always be in this rut, where others decided what I did with my life. My choice was to be a Dragon Rider, and look how that turned out. Perhaps I was better off letting them choose.

“What would you like to do, dear?” my mother asked, her voice gentle and hushed as if she wished she could read my thoughts.

My blank stare wandered over each of them. “I don’t know,” I croaked through a sob torn throat.

My mother’s arm wrapped around me, easing me close to her side. “I think she needs time. Just give her some time, and I’m sure that everything will right itself. A good night’s sleep and a cup of tea can do wonders,” she said with a hint of optimism. Optimism that I did not feel.

“What if Niehm and Elenor keep an eye on you just until you’re feeling better?” Master Brann offered.

My shoulder raised in a weak shrug. I didn’t care. Right now, I didn’t care about anything. The only thing I wanted was my room, and a locked door. I wanted to lie on my bed and not think about a single thing.

“I think that’s enough for now. Perhaps Elenor, you and Miss Annabelle can escort Miss Avyanna to her room?” Master Brann asked.

“Yes, of course.”

I braved another look around the table. Master Niehm’s frown was sharp with disapproval. Master Elenor’s expression lacked the unmerciful sternness I’d expected. Instead, a touch of concern colored her eyes.

“Thank you for your time, Miss Annabelle.” Master Brann stood, and the rest of us followed suit. “Miss Avyanna,” his voice softened with a sympathetic smile, “rest.”

My mother looped her arm through mine and we followed Master Elenor out. She escorted us through the dorms and to my room. Along the way, people chattered as we passed and it felt as though they all spoke of me, of my failure.

In my room, Master Elenor left, and I walked to my bed in a daze. I laid atop the covers, hugging my knees to my chest. Fatigue itched at my eyes, pulling them closed. I was so tired. So very tired.

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