Page 49 of Forcing Fate

She let a moment pass before she spoke, “Avyanna of Gareth. You do not get to say you do not want to see the woman who bore you into this world. She is your mother and has traveled far to see you.”

I recognized her voice, but I couldn’t place who it was.

“I don’t want to be in this world anymore.” My words were breathy and lifeless.

I didn’t mean it, not truly. But it came out anyway. I was just so… lost.

The woman shifted, moving her leg out from beneath me. She eased me upright just as I managed to open my eyes. Master Niehm brought her forehead to mine and looked at me with her intense eyes, sparking with life.

“You will not say such things that you do not mean.” Her stern voice brooked no debate.

I closed my eyes again. That crumb of happiness this woman brought me moments ago vanished.

“Look at me, Avyanna.”

I forced my eyelids open, and I felt so… dead, compared to her bright gaze, sparkling with fight and life.

“You will get up. You will see your Mother. You will go on. I told you not a half a year ago that dragons were not everything. You will not let them shatter your spirit. You will not.” She spoke with such passion and fervor—almost as if she could speak with enough conviction to affect my dead heart.

“Avyanna, you will get up,” she said, as if it were a matter of fact. She gently let go of my head and stood.

I crumbled back to the sandy shore. I didn’t want to see anyone. Not my mother, nor this bossy Master.

“This is your final warning. Get up, Avyanna.” Demand clipped her tone.

I heard her words, yet no amount of her determination could stir my limbs. The world was simply better off without me in it. What was I going to go back and face? All of my peers who would tell me I was a failure? All the Masters that had invested in me, who would now see me as a disappointment? Master Brann who offered me a second chance, and I managed to ruin that–

A sharp slap across my face jolted me upright. My crusty eyes snapped open. Master Niehm sat crouched before me. She pressed her hand to my throbbing cheek, and I glared with as much ferocity as I could muster. Masters never struck students. Ever.

“There you are.” A pleased smile spread across her face as she searched my eyes.

I willed every ounce of my rage into my glare. How dare she hit me? Didn’t she know what I just went through? And she had the gall to strike me?

“Let’s go see your mother,” she said, rising from her crouch.

I glared, ignoring her outstretched hand, and pressed my lips into a thin line before struggling to stand. She threw another smile my way and started walking toward the school grounds.

Chapter Fourteen

As I trailed behind Master Niehm, I felt emotionless, vacant. My brain vaguely registered that she took me around the dorms to the Masters’ quarters. Even with my eyes trained on the ground, I felt the stares and heard the hushed whispers of those few who rose early the morning after Hatching Day.

Master Niehm slowed to match my dejected pace. I didn’t want to see my mother. I didn’t want to see a single soul. No. What I wanted more than anything was to curl under a rock and die.

We came to the Masters’ quarters, and she ushered me in with a muttered word to the guards, then escorted me down the halls. The path was nothing but a haze. Strands of hair fell loose from my braid and trailed down my face. I took small comfort in the fact that it hid my eyes from others, not that they wouldn’t recognize me.

She held open a door and gestured me inside. At a table in the center of the room, Master Brann sat with Master Elenor to his left and my mother to his right.

“Oh, Avyanna!”

My mother leapt from her chair, rushing to me. Her body enveloped mine in an embrace. My emptiness faded the tiniest amount, and tears stung my eyes. Part of me just wanted to be a little girl again, back when my mother’s hugs made the world right again.

I stood there, stiff and unmoving, before I forced my arms around her, then let them drop again. There was no passion, no emotion behind it. I stared at Master Brann over my mother’s shoulder, not caring that he saw the lifelessness in me. He frowned and clasped his hands together on the table.

My mother pulled back, holding me at arms-length. She smiled, but it didn’t reach the concern burning in her warm brown gaze. “Oh, Avyanna. I’m so sorry I wasn’t here sooner! I tried, I really did, sweetheart. Oh, sweetie.” Her hand cupped my face, stroking my cheek with her thumb.

Tears welled in her eyes as I pulled out of her embrace. She didn’t deserve this. In my heart, I realized I was being unfair. Yet I could not bring myself to do anything different. I just didn’t have the energy or motivation to greet her as she deserved.

She brushed away her tears with the back of her hand. Despite my coldness, her gaze still overflowed with love and compassion. I looked at the floor and stood there, unable to show her the same.

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