Page 180 of Forcing Fate

I paid as the vendor wrapped it in burlap and boxed it. My purse was lighter, but I was far more excited to see my mother. At least she would have something to remember me by.

In case I died.

“Oh, look at that hair comb!” Niehm exclaimed.

We shopped around for another chime, walking and chatting about life. We shied away from anything that hedged close to my departure in a few short months. Most topics surrounded the women’s dorm and the drama and gossip that always ensued. We talked about the women who had taken lovers and been found out, during which I tried to hide my blush. Niehm teased me, claiming I was all grown up and understood what they spoke of.

If she only knew how right she was.

The sensation of longing—of being so close, but not close enough. The uncertainty of each move made, wondering if it would be the last before it all came crashing down.

Something caught my eye, and I stopped, pivoting to face a stall. The fur vendor grinned and waved to me, eager to tend to a new patron. I wasn’t interested in the hides he had on display or how warm they were. My eyes were on something else.

“Avyanna?” Niehm called, rushing to my side.

“Furs? For sewing?” Elenor prompted.

Niehm huffed a small laugh. “Do you even have time to sew?”

I pointed to a jar, and the grizzled man retrieved it.

“Buttons?” Elenor asked.

I reached in and felt the smooth, worn sides and filed points.

“Tooth buttons? Really, Avyanna, are you that barbaric?” Niehm laughed.

“Not just any teeth, fine lady. These are wild cat teeth!”

Niehm groaned with distaste. “Lovely.”

“How much for five?” I asked, picking out the best ones.

I wasn’t thinking. I wasn’t using my head. And that was all right—or so my heart told me.

“One gold.”

“For buttons?” Elenor narrowed her eyes.

“They’re made from the wild cats of–”

“Here.” I handed him a gold coin. I didn’t care what the cost was. I was getting them.

“Well, well! Thank you, fine lady. Is there anything else that might interest you? Perhaps–”

“No, thank you. Farewell,” I said, walking off before he could rope me into talking. I slipped the teeth into my coin purse.

“Wild cat teeth, Avyanna?” Elenor asked hesitantly, as if I sprouted a second head.

“Who are those for? Your uniform doesn’t have buttons,” Niehm pressed, eyeing me from tunic to trousers.

A blush heated my skin, and I ducked my head.

“No,” Niehm whispered in horror.

“It is a masculine gift,” Elenor affirmed.

I cleared my throat, rushing my words. “It’s not like that.”

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