Page 127 of Forcing Fate

“So you’re telling me that all the men out there think of me… like that?” I growled, waving my hand at the bunkhouse.

“Not all of them,” Willhelm corrected, shaking his head, “but enough that the fear spread. Those that could be easily influenced will now shy away simply because the majority of the pack thinks you’re a danger to them.”

“What can I do to regain that trust?”

I felt like such a child. I cared what they thought of me—how they treated me. Why? What changed from a few years ago? In the girls’ dorm, I couldn’t care less about what my peers thought of me. Why were the soldiers so much more important?

Was it because I believed myself stronger than the other girls? Was it because I figured myself destined to be a Dragon Rider, and now that I knew fate didn’t have that in store for me, I was humbled?

“Nothing more than what you’re doing. It will fade in time.” Willhelm stood and stretched. “You’ve shaken things up since you came onto the barracks’ side. They’ve gotten over it before.”

He walked over to my bed and I looked up at him. The light in the bunkhouse silhouetted his frame. He towered over me and I waited for the fear that would accompany a large man looming over me. Nothing came. I studied his face as he bent low to retrieve my bowl. He was stern, strong, and friendly—but in a firm way. With Elenor and Niehm, he was more relaxed, but I always sensed a slight wall between us.

Emotion built in my throat and I fumbled with the wick on my lantern, coaxing a soft glow to the space. “Willhelm?”

He froze and tilted his head at my small voice. His eyes sought mine, silently inviting me to ask my question.

I didn’t let myself consider the impact of my words—or how his answer might affect me. “Do you think of me… like that?” I stared into those warm coffee-brown eyes, trying to ignore the dread twisting through me.

He frowned and settled on his knees in front of me. His hands rested on the cot on either side of me, and his demeanor grew stern. “Avyanna, I have a confession, one that will never leave this room—swear to me it will never leave this room.”

A tremble ran through me, and my dinner knotted in my stomach. “I swear,” I whispered.

“Avyanna,” he sighed and offered me a small smile, “I don’t see you as another soldier. I should, but I do not. I see you as a lamb among wolves. You are the smallest woman I’ve ever seen. You were a tiny fragile girl when you first came to the barracks’ side. I wanted to protect you, to keep you safe from the wolves that would swallow you whole.

“I don’t see you as a soldier, but you have nothing to fear from me. You understand?” He took a moment and worked a muscle in his jaw, his gaze searching mine. “I simply want to protect you, keep you safe. I think what you’re doing is brave and commendable, to be honest. Why it had to be the smallest female to be the first to join the army—I haven’t the slightest idea, but here you are.

“If anything, I see you as–” he stopped and grimaced, “as a daughter—if I were to ever have one. Which I never will. But perhaps this is the universe telling me that since I won’t, and you’re here, I can treat you as one.”

My heart thumped painfully at his words, and a strange emotion clogged my throat. I had wanted a father for so long. I resented the fact that the Shadow tore mine from me, and here fate was, handing me a man who had done everything to treat me as his own.

He scoffed before continuing, “You’re special to me, and not only because you’re the first female to join the army, but because you’re you. You’ve grown on me, girl. You’ve got backbone, though you pretend you don’t. You try to hide your anger more than your fear. You are a kind soul, yet you choose the most difficult tasks. I don’t understand you, but I like you.” He frowned and reached over to pat my hand awkwardly.

I laughed and grabbed his hand as he tried to pull away. He was so caught up in the formalities of life, he still never touched me unless I invited it.

“Thank you, Willhelm.” I gave his hand a squeeze before letting go. “Thank you.”

He cleared his throat as he stood, pulling the chair from the room. “You should be sleeping. Good night, Avyanna,” he called as he started to shut the door.

“Good night, Willhelm.”

The door closed with the click of the latch, and I rose to push my cot to its place in front of the door. I sighed, feeling a bit more at peace, and changed into my night shift and settled into bed. I leaned over to blow out the lantern and was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

I woke to heated shouts and my door slamming into my cot. I shot up in bed and stared in horror at the sliver of light shining through the crack.

“Cadet Avyanna, if you don’t move this bed in the next three seconds, you’re not going to have a door!”

I flew out of bed at the sound of Sergeant Briggs’ voice and scrambled for my trousers, jerking them on and shoving the cot to the side. Just as it hit the wall, the door crashed open and Sergeant Briggs stormed into my storage closet. His huge body took up the small space as he glowered. I struggled to stand at attention as he crowded close.

“Roll call was five minutes ago!” he roared, inches from my face.

I didn’t dare move—didn’t speak. I stared straight ahead as my mind tried to catch up with my body.

“Cadet Avyanna! What are you wearing?!” The force of his breath blew my hair away from my face as he yelled again.

“A night shift, sir!”

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