Page 95 of All the Promises We Break

Wes’s appointment is set for nine. From what he tells me, they should know by around lunchtime. I’m grateful that I have projects I can work on from the privacy of my desk and not have to interact with people today.

The design department is on the far end of the floor. I have to walk past reception and Eli’s and Dylan’s offices to get to the break suite and the coffee. I’m hoping to avoid them too. The only way I’m going to survive the wait is to be alone.

As I get close to Dylan’s office, I can hear her talking to Candice. I hurry by and she’s none the wiser. That’s one down. Just as I’m about to pass Eli’s, Anna comes out of his office and greets me with a happy good morning. Shit.

“Hey, Hayley. Is that you?”

I roll my shoulders back best I can to stand in his doorway. “Yeah. I was going to get some coffee and water before I’m going to keep my head down on a project. See you later.”

“Wait. Come back here.” He’s around his desk before I can even protest. “Anna, will you make sure we’re not disturbed for a few minutes, please?” Eli guides me into his office and closes the door. “Give me your thermos and water bottle. I’ll fill you up here. Sit.”

“You’re not Dad, Eli. I just want to work. I don’t feel like talking. Please just listen to me.”

“Hayley. Sit,” he orders. I plop down in one of the chairs in front of his desk, resting my forehead against my fingertips. “I won’t ask you how you are. I can see it. I need you to just take this day as it comes. Don’t think too far ahead. I’m going to be here for you.”

“I feel like my heart is being torn apart.” My voice cracks at the end.

“I know. I do.”

“No. You don’t,” I shout. “You’ll still have him no matter what. I have this feeling if this goes a certain way, I’ll lose him.”

I watch as he sets both of my full beverages on his desk. “I just need you to be patient. I want you to have lunch with me. I know he’ll get the results around that time. I want to be with you when that happens. We’ll go to that place you like over by the university campus. I’ll clear it with your department head.”

“Okay. Sure.”

“Stand up.”

“God, Eli, stop being Dad.” He pulls me in for an all-consuming hug. At first, I wanted to just get it over with, but the longer he holds me, the longer I want to stay. I cover my face with my hands between us and silently cry. “Hey. I’ll help you through this. I will. Just hold on. Everything will work out.”

Eli, true to his word, shows up at my desk about noon to escort me to lunch. We take a ten-minute cab ride over near campus to my favorite lunch spot. I couldn’t care less about eating, for once, but big brother overrides me again and orders me soup with a side of bread. He tells me that this is the Dylan special. When she can’t eat anything else, this does the trick.

I score us a table near the window so the distractions outside will make time go faster. The one good thing about this lunch is Eli isn’t trying to fill the space with small talk. He knows that’s a lost cause and I know he’s anxious too. I’m on my second forced nibble of bread when Eli’s phone vibrates on the table.

We both freeze. He turns his phone over and looks at the message. His face gives nothing away. “Who is it?” He sends a brief response and lays the phone facedown on the table. His hands fold beneath his chin as his eyes fall closed, just like Dad. My eyes blend in and out of focus on his Sawyer crest ring, just like Dad’s. “Eli, is it Wes?”

“Yes. It was him.”

“He messaged you and not me. That’s bad right?”

“Kiddo, it’s his child. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” I can feel the tears start to roll down my cheeks. Eli takes a minute to choose his words before he continues. “I tried to be prepared, but I’m seriously lacking. Wes had something messengered to me for you. He had a feeling this was going to be the outcome.”

Eli reaches inside his coat pocket and pulls out an envelope. “It’s a letter he wrote to you. I haven’t read it. I don’t know what it says. Would you like me to read it to you or would you like it to be private?”

My trembling hand reaches over for the letter. I stare at the front for what feels like forever, reading my name in his handwriting over and over again. I break the seal on the back, sliding the page out, holding the envelope against my chest praying it’s not what I fear.

“I want this to be private.”

Hayley –

Something told me this is what would be. That was part of what last

night was about. I wanted the last thing between us to be as beautiful

as you are.

I can’t ask you to come on this journey with me. I can’t ask you to be tied

to things from my past that keep coming into my present.

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