Page 77 of All the Promises We Break

“I got back from helping Dylan get you down to the car and I found him sitting on the floor in a daze. He started talking and asking me questions. He wanted to know if I’d talked to you about your accident. Nothing was making sense then he started talking about Michael. It was like a dam broke.

“I didn’t want him to know how scared I was. He was crying so hard and holding on to me like I’d evaporate or something. I didn’t know what to do other than listen and hold him. Will you fill in the gaps for me? I need to be able to help him better.”

I wrap my arms tighter around Hayley, cradling her as close as I can. “It took me a long time to be able to not see Michael’s accident like a horror film in my head. Wes has gaps because he’s blocked some of it out. I wish I could have, to be honest. He wouldn’t let go of Mikey, even when the ambulance arrived. He was there but yet he wasn’t.

“When the ambulance left, Wes stayed in the same position on the ground until his uncle arrived. His parents went straight to the hospital. He never said a word. I couldn’t get him to leave that ditch. I sat down beside him and held him for nearly an hour. He didn’t move or speak.”

Hayley wraps her left arm around her middle as the cuff of her right sleeve wipes her tears away. She whispers softly, “I wish I would have known then and before now. It’s not like I wouldn’t understand. I understand better than anyone. He still blames himself. It hurts me to see him like this. It hurts me to see the two men I love most, besides Daddy and Pops, fighting when they shouldn’t be.

“I’ve dated guys for periods of time. We hang out, have fun, and party. But this is different. I look back at these past months and I see things I didn’t see before. He blocked that guy at the bar the night you met Dylan from being able to give me his number. He offered to escort me to Dylan’s recital and set up that weekend in Vermont for you.

“I didn’t mention it before, but Wes and I went to grab a bite after you two left. It wasn’t candles and flower petals or anything like that, but when it’s just us, he’s different. I’m different. He looks at me like a woman. This is not a fling for either of us. He’s not the fuck boy and he’s not my boy toy. We’re not just killing time with each other. He’s my first real love and it’s awesome because we were friends first.”

“Oh, Kiddo… I’m so not ready for you to grow up.”

She giggles softly. “You sound like Dad.”

“I mean it. I’m not ready. I know how old you are. I know you have this bright career ahead of you. You’re intelligent, brave, beautiful, and have a right hook any man would be jealous of. I took it upon myself a long time ago to be your protector. Letting go to give the right to another man, whether it’s Wes or someone else, is not easy for me.”

“I know. I love you for it.” As she snuggles into my chest, she whispers one more request, “Wes is really struggling. He needs you. I know you want to make it right. Will you go to him?”

“I’ll need you to run interference with Dylan. My wife, even though it’s for a good cause, will not be happy I’ve left the house this soon.”

“Don’t worry. I’ve got your back, just like you’ll always have mine.”

I was able to escape to my cab unnoticed by Dylan, Lauren, and Stacey. I’ve never once been nervous to talk to Wes. Not even when we were six and I had to ask to be on his kickball team. He’s always made us easy, even in the hard times.

I think back to my time after Tori left, he was right there. He picked me up every single time. Most of the time we didn’t even speak. He’d walk in with a six-pack and order barbecue or burgers, toss me the game controller, and we’d work it out through a firefight or a virtual boxing match. We’d always work it out.

I reach the elevator and press the up button. I’ve got a lot of apologizing to do, he’s got a few things to explain. This is the one of the hardest personal conversations I’ve ever willingly had. This can’t be settled with beer, food, and gaming.

The ding pulls me out of the whirling scenarios in my head. As the doors open, the car isn’t empty. Wes and I come face-to-face. “Hey. Going somewhere?” I ask.

“Yeah. To find you.”

“We need to talk, and I mean just talk.”

Wes shoves his hands in the pocket on the front of his hoodie. It’s a nervous habit he’s always had. No one knows that butme. “I don’t think the scene of the crime would be a good idea. Should you be walking around? I mean, are you good?”

“I am or at least I will be. The park’s too public. Rooftop?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. Hop on.”

The ride to the roof is hot, quiet, and the most awkward we’ve ever been with each other. I’m too ashamed to look at him directly but something catches my eye. He pulls the hat that was on his head into his hands. He’s shaping the brim over and over again.

The front of the cap is frayed on the sides. I can tell it was once a deep blue but has faded over time. It takes me a minute, but I recognize it. It was the hat Michael was wearing the day of the accident. He took it off and tucked it inside his jacket when he put his helmet on.

“Yankees suck, you know.”

“I know,” Wes says, “I’m a Twins fan, just like you, but sometimes this hat fits just right.”

“I bet it does.”

The elevator doors open to a small enclosure on the roof. There are a few cafe tables and chairs positioned for taking in the panoramic view of the city. The sun is filtered overhead with a few hit or miss puffy clouds. Wes strides ahead of me, placing the hat on his head, pulling the brim down low to shield his eyes.

“Does Viper know you broke ranks to come here? I don’t need her wrath on top of everything else.”

“No. She doesn’t. Well, maybe she does by now, but this was too important.” Wes’s hands grip over the railing like one would over handlebars. “Mav, how bad are you hurt?”

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