Page 65 of All the Promises We Break

“I’ll limp along somehow,” Hayley adds with a wink. “Okay, Shakira, show me how those hips don’t lie.”

I’m the one nearly choking this time. We both settle into hold. Dylan and Eli are holding each other how I’d like to be holding Hayley. Hand firmly as low on the back as you can go without being alone, hand at her neck, guiding her movement and making it easy to taste her.

My daydreaming turned night dreaming has created a bit of a problem that Hayley can feel. She shadows me until we turn, trying to always keep my back to Dylan and Eli. Deep breath after deep breath falls into play.

I hear a small sigh before Eli speaks. “Advil in the cupboard in your bathroom still?”

“Yeah. I’m not dancing with you. It can’t be my two left feet.”

“I can feel a headache brewing. I want to head it off before it ruins the night.”

“Go ahead. Help yourself.”

After Eli leaves the room, Hayley smacks my chest. “Seriously? I mean I’m flattered, but shit.”

I shrug. “What am I supposed to do? I’m not trying to fuck this up.”

“Oh my God, you two. Go outside on the balcony and calm it down. I’ll stall with Eli.”

Dylan leaves the room to find Eli and I truly breathe for the first time in nearly an hour. “We need to tell him. I can’t do this anymore.”

“I know you’re right. I don’t want to have to hide how I feel about you. Let’s talk to my mom and dad. They need to know and maybe they would have some advice about Eli.”

“I’m game for anything honestly. Jack and Lil will be cool right?”

“Mom will want to know if I’m happy. Daddy will want to make sure I’m the only one.”

“You are. I promise.”

Even though I don’t like the reason, I’m glad Eli and Dylan left earlier than expected. Eli wasn’t able to hold his headache off. Dylan covered and said she was the one who wasn’t feeling right. Either way, it gives Hayley and me time to game plan.

I lie in bed with the lights out and the balcony doors open, waiting for Hayley to finish her shower. If I’m going to start being the man she deserves, I need to own up to the man she doesn’t.

Hayley emerges from the bathroom with her long towel-dried hair a wavy mess, wearing her favorite T-shirt of mine. She springboards over me to her side of the bed to crawl under the sheet. My arms are winged out under my head. Usually I would tug her to my side. I think I need a bit of distance for where this will go.

“Hey. Wes? What’s wrong?”

“I need to be honest with you before we talk to your parents and Eli.”

“Okay. I’m listening.”

“Hayley, I’ve been a fuck boy a long time. I don’t know really why it ended up like that, but it’s who I am, or was. There’s been a long string of women in several cities who I’ve spent time with, outside of and under the sheets. I’m not telling you this to show you I’m proud, I’m telling you so that you can trust me when I say I’m done.

“I’m done with that. If I could have said what I wanted to say in that toast, you’re the reason I’m done. You never expect anything from me. You simply want me. I can tell you things I’venever told other women. I don’t have to always come with a joke or a story. If I’m tired, I say it and you care.You care.”

“Wes, you don’t have to do this. You don’t.”

“I do. I absolutely do. You deserve this. I fucked up when I didn’t come clean about Gabrielle. I don’t want to see that look on your face again.” I fold my hands in front of my chin. “I won’t give you the list of names. The one you need to hear about is the one I’ve been seeing on and off until recently, Hannah.

“I met Hannah through work. She’s been around for about two years. We see each other once a month for a night out and once a week for a night in. It was about no strings.”

“No promises. No lies. Right?”

Fuck.

Those words hit me in the heart.

“Hayley, don’t. It’s not the same as it is with you. I don’t promise her I won’t see other people. I don’t promise her anything. I promiseyouthere’s only you and has been since the first time we kissed. I told her I started seeing someone. She said cool and I haven’t spoken to her since. I’ll swear on anything you’d like.”

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