Page 59 of All the Promises We Break

Their first dance fades to a finish like a Disney movie, Eli and Dylan call family to join them on the floor. Gran and Pops are out there first. I laugh. So not a surprise. What is a surprise is that Dylan’s parents are a close second, followed by Jack and Lily and my parents.

“Hey! Wallflower! Are you going to leave me hanging?”

I shake my head as I glance to my right. The call is from Hayley. “I suppose it is our duty as best man and maid of honor to show these people how it’s done. Our last connection so to speak.”

Hayley ignores my statement for her own. “Can you slow dance to more formal music? I mean. I know your hips usually don’t lie like the rest of you.”

I’ve apologized over and over. I’ve tried to talk to her over and over. She doesn’t get to judge me anymore. In my anger, I surprise Hayley by taking her hand quickly, spinning her out then spinning her back. She lands against my chest with a soft thud. “What do you think?”

“I think I don’t know you as well as I thought I did. Clearly I’ve missed a side.”

“Yes. At least one.”

We stay to the edge of the dance floor, closest to the bar. Her hand feels dwarfed by mine. My other hand rests at her waist. As we slowly spin, my hand finds the top of the zipper of her dress, which is nearly the bottom of her spine. Her skin is so warm. Her perfume has a soft musky undertone. It’s not one I’ve noticed her wearing before. I’ve only been obsessed with the usual vanilla and coconut.

Hayley breaks the silent railway my brain was barreling down. “I didn’t expect you to be so mushy today. There’s that soft spot exposed again,” she says, as her chin rests upon my right shoulder. I close my eyes and remember the last time I held her this close. Hot tub. Nearly naked.

Here we are, back in that lane of mixed signals. “You know, I could have said the same about you. You went all eloquent. You made more people cry than me, so I think you won that battle. We both know how much you like to win. Are you on a two-drink chain because your family is watching, or can I buy you one?”

“In case you need reminding, I can make my own choices. I don’t need a chain or a keeper. It’s a party. Buy me a shot.”

I give her a smile. It’s the first one she’s reciprocated in days. I’m hypersensitive to your choices today. “You’re playingwith fire, Hayley. Tell me what you want or would you like a surprise?” I twirl her off the dance floor.

“It’s my brother’s big day. I’ll live dangerously. I’ll take whatever you give me.”

Fuck.

“If I didn’t know how extremely pissed you are at me, I’d think that was the best come-on I’ve ever heard.”

The bartender gives Hayley a smile as she twirls one of the loose hairs that have fallen from her bun. The tequila shooters line up in front of me and I slide one down to her. As she watches it slow down in front of her, she leans in. The cut of her dress hugs her every curve. The bartender and I seem to notice it, and the ivory skin it displays, about the same time.

I hold up a folded twenty in front of his eyes and whisper to him. “Put your eyes back where they’re supposed to be, and you’ll get this. Think about continuing to look at her like a piece of meat, and we’ll be doing more than talking.” He glares and slowly takes the money from my hand. “Now, I think there’s another woman down at the far end of the bar who would care for your attention.”

Tilting my head first to the left then the right, I can feel the tension rise and release. I twist the shot glass between my fingers as Hayley regains my full attention. She’s got one hand on her hip and the other has its fingers strumming across the bar top.

“What?” I ask, like I don’t know what hellfire is about to rain down.

“I was wrong. You are a bigger cockblock than my brother ever could be. What did you say to him? He was cute. He looked interested and wasn’t hiding how he felt.”

“Cute? I don’t want to hear you say someone is cute. He isn’t good enough for you. Quit whining and drink.”

We toss our shots back at the same time. It’s giving me a slow burn, but it doesn’t seem to faze Hayley. She keeps right on chastising me. “There he is again. The jealous boyfriend. God damn. If you don’t have the balls to do something about it, at least have the decency not to get in my way. Thanks for the dance and the drink.”

Hayley brushes past me. I try and fail to grab her wrist as she passes. If I don’t have the balls? Is she trying to piss me off? Was that a dare? Does she want me to do something? We’ve had this discussion. She told me to fuck off. Has she changed her mind? No matter what, I need to know.

I follow along the outside edge of the dance floor. Eli and Dylan are under the spotlight again. His hand is riding her lower back, holding her tightly to him, possessing her. Her hand is tugging at the hair on the base of his neck and fingering just inside his collar. He looks so happy and content. I’m back to grateful and envious in the same breath.

I’m not the only one who stopped to look. Hayley’s at the far corner watching them too. The light picks up the silver thread in the black fabric of her dress. It floats away around her feet with the breeze coming in from the open balcony doors. That same piece of hair she was twisting in her fingers is now floating across her shoulder.

It occurs to me, she’s not looking at the happy couple. She’s looking through them at me. I tug at my tie to give me a little extra room. The air has suddenly become a bit thick. Hayley doesn’t move as I round the rest of the floor to make it to her. We stand face-to-face. I can see the rise and fall of her chest. It’s moving in time with the beat of my heart and the pulse of something else I don’t want to admit to. Our fingers dance at our sides, hidden in between the fabric of her dress and the open breast of my jacket.

I lean into her ear so there’s no mistake in what my words are. “If you take my hand right now, we’re going somewhere and not to talk. Tell me what you want.”

Hayley winds her fingers in mine and gives them a firm squeeze. Lead the way? You got it.

If I stop and think too much, I’ll find this is a really bad idea. We walk up the stairs to the hallway leading out of the ballroom. There are a few people milling about but no one I recognize. She tugs on my hand to steer us down a long corridor to a secluded corner.

All the noise and music from the wedding is a muted background to the playlist blaring between us. The padded office chairs and the communal office desk are going to be the only witnesses to what comes next.

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