Page 93 of All the Promises We Break

“You have no idea, Mrs. Sawyer. I was going to take you somewhere right after your audition, but since things got turned sideways, this is as good of a segue I’m going to get.” I lay a few featherlight kisses over the pulse in her neck. I can feel it actively rise and fall in between. Her thighs tighten at my waist. “Like that?”

“You know I do. Segue for what?”

I slide my nose alongside hers. “Bono is no longer a bachelor. He’s got his mate, just like I have mine. Her name is Ireland. She’s yours.”

The corners of her mouth twist into the most perfect smile. She licks her lips and entwines my hair in her fingers. “And you’re mine. Think dinner can wait, Goose?”

“Who am I to argue, Viper?” I whisper in her ear. “All I want is you.”

Chapter Forty

Wes

The last few hours have felt like days. I don’t know what to say to Hayley, so I stop talking, and so does she. She’d hand me a bottle of water and kiss my head. I’d walk past her, holding her before I let her go.

I could hear her power cleaning my apartment while I was on the phone with my mom. Every so often, I popped my head out the door when it was too quiet and I’d catch her crying. I hate with everything I have inside she’s crying because of me. I know I can’t prevent her tears, but I can sure as hell not be the cause of them.

I hear my notifications buzz in my ear as I’m talking to Mom. It’s a text from Eli. He’s got the appointment set. I forward the message to Hannah as I’m wrapping up my call. Mom and Dad are amazing. They’re taking this in stride and tell me they’ll stand by my side. I knew they would. They always have, even in some pretty dark days.

Eli and Dylan’s reactions were what I needed. My bigger concern is Hayley. This is definitely not something she signed upfor. We’re barely on solid ground for the two of us. How could I screw this up already?

I silence my phone and flip it upside down on the dresser before I enter the bathroom. Staring myself in the face right now is hard to do. I think about all the times I bragged about my terms with Hannah. Then my mind flashes to telling Hayley that I love her.

I see all the times Hannah and I met for a fuck, then said basically same time next week? I can feel the first time Hayley and I kissed, touched, and then Eli and Dylan’s wedding night. I couldn’t admit it then, but that was it for me. I may have said I’d fight it. There’s no way I can. Sometimes if you love someone enough, you have to set them free.

There’s not enough cold water coming from this faucet that will wash away my sins. I never fully understood the lyrics to Maroon 5’s song “Daylight” until now. I’m living that shit live and it hurts.

Hayley’s been quiet for too long. The water stops echoing off the sink and I only hear the city, not her. Maybe she left. I wouldn’t blame her. I’d understand. I tug and pull at my neck and shoulders as I walk. I look up from my feet and follow the unwound cord of the vacuum to the end of the couch. On the cushions lies my girl.

Her hands are safely tucked inside her sweatshirt sleeves. Her knees are pulled toward her chest and her toes are covered by a pillow like a small blanket. I can see the dried tear streaks on her cheeks. It’s like a knife twisting in my heart.

There was a time not so long ago this image was me. She didn’t hesitate to get on the floor with me and feel whatever it was. I need to do that now, even if it’s the last thing I do. Kneeling slowly by her side, I rub my thumb across her cheek. “Hayles?”

It takes a minute, but she finally stirs. “I’m sorry. I needed to shut off for a bit.”

I whisper, “Don’t apologize. Not for that or anything. Are you hungry?”

“No. Not really. You were on the phone with your mom for a long time. What did she say?”

“She’s shocked. I don’t know why. I have their support if I need it. Eli was able to hook us up with a friend of his to get a quick turnaround on a test. I go tomorrow morning. We’ll know the same day.”

“One day. Everything could change in one day.”

The lyrics scream inside my head again. I couldn’t have told them to you yesterday, but now I have them memorized. Hold off the daylight. Make the most of what you have right now, so when you say goodbye tomorrow you’ll at least have that. I need to make it stop. “No. Tomorrow is tomorrow and today is today. There’s nothing else but you and me right now. Nothing.” I sit her up gently. “Listen. I want you to take a shower and put something on that makes you feel beautiful. I have a plan. Trust me?”

Hayley reaches out and slides her petite hand through the hair on the side of my head. “More than that, I love you.”

She kisses me with the weight of the world on her shoulders, slides her body off the couch, and disappears into the bedroom. “I love you too. I hope you’ll always remember that.”

Hayley showers so long I begin to wonder if there’s any hot water left. I’m honestly glad she does take a while. It gives me a chance to make everything perfect and do my own five-minute shower in the guest bathroom. I toss on Hayley’s favorite button-down of mine with board shorts. She appears from the leftover steam in the bathroom in a beautiful orange dress that floats over her entire body down to her toes.

Hayley’s hair is in damp waves that frame her face and shoulders. Instead of her contacts, her purple tortoiseshell glasses surround her ocean blue eyes. I can’t do anything except stare. I want to memorize this moment so I can see it in my sleep. “My God. That’s my favorite color on you.”

“I tried putting my contacts in but…” her voice trails off as her hands fall defeated at her side.”

“No. You’re perfect.” I offer her my hand. “You said you weren’t hungry. I get it. I made us some popcorn, just in case. Come with me?”

Hayley and I are great at the push-pull. The tension between us, since we recognized it, has been a fire. As she lays her hand in mine, I feel a resolution to her. “Where are we going? I don’t want to go out.”

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