Page 88 of All the Promises We Break

“I’m sorry but this is important.”

“Okay. What is it?” Holding the phone in my left hand, I draw a lazy back-and-forth line down Hayley’s body between her breasts.

“I didn’t think I could say it to your face. I just sent you something in a text message. You should look at it.”

“What am I looking for?” I put her on speaker so I can scroll to my messaging app. The bubbles roll forever before the picture finally populates. It’s black-and-white. Hannah’s full name is at the top. There is a grainy bubble. Eyes. Nose. Ten fingers. I rock back to my heels. “Jesus Christ. What is this?”

“I think it’s pretty obvious. I just got that today. I didn’t know if I should tell you at all, but when I saw it, I knew I had to.” I feel my heart start to pound in my chest. The phone is visibly shaking in my hand. “Wes? Wes, are you still there?”

I swallow the boulder sitting in my throat before I can answer her. “Yeah, umm we should talk in person.”

“I’m free all day tomorrow. We can meet wherever you feel comfortable.”

“Hannah, I have to go right now. I’ll be in touch.”

“Okay. Bye.”

The phone is still active in my hand. The dial tone isn’t the only thing I can hear. My uneven breath is starting to scare me. Hayley slides out the rest of the way from beneath me and wants to disconnect the call but not before she sees what Hannah sent me. She’s memorizing it in the same order I did. The sonogram dated today with Hannah’s name at the very top. She can clearly see the shape of a face, a rounded chin, and ten very tiny fingers.

Hayley finally disconnects the call. Her hand deposits the phone facedown before she bridges the gap between us to rest her hand on my knee. There is a low tremor inside my body. Can she feel it? “Wes? Could that baby be yours?”

“I… I haven’t seen her in about five months. I haven’t been in contact with her in any way. I told you that. I guess. I mean depending on dates and stuff, yeah. It could.”

“Okay.” She inhales deeply and exhales slowly.

I wish I could do that. My hands start to tingle with the sting of a thousand needles. I can’t get enough air into my lungs to help this feeling of suffocation I have. “Tell me this is a nightmare and I’m going to wake up.”

“I wish I could. What can I do?”

“I don’t know. I feel like I can’t breathe.”

Hayley presses her hands over my knees, using them for leverage and vaults from the bed. She grabs my discarded T-shirtfrom the ground to snake her body inside. “Yes, you can. Come with me. Don’t think, just follow.”

She offers me her palms, punctuating them in my line of sight. It takes a minute, but I’m able to lay mine in hers, shaking and all. Hayley gives me a gentle tug to get me on my feet. She paces backward, her eyes never leaving mine, out our bedroom door and back into the dining room. She purposefully places me on the end of the table that isn’t covered in my files.

Once I’m seated, she disappears into the kitchen. My head folds into my hands. I don’t know if I can hold it up on my own. I hear glasses and bottles clinking and clanking behind the wall. Hayley returns with my bottle of whiskey, a bottle of water, and two tumblers. “Isn’t it a little early?” I remark.

“Somehow, no. It’s not.” Hayley pours a tall two fingers in each glass and before I can bring mine to my lips, she downs hers. “Drink yours and then sip on the water.”

“What the fuck am I going to do?” I ask.

“I can’t answer that for you.”

“Why not?”

Hayley slams her glass to the table and stares nearly through me. “Because I love you.”

“What if that’s not enough?”

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Elijah

Dylan told me not to come a thousand times. I responded the same way repeatedly. I’m going.

Since the event last week, my wife has been different. There’s a wall between us. It’s not high or wide. It’s just something that’s never been there before. I want to coax her to confide in me, but I also know that she’ll come to me all in good time.

I didn’t want to push her, especially today. She tossed and turned all night. She was up before the sun and I watched her walk through her routine repeatedly while she was showering, packing her bag, and getting ready. Her nerves were giving her a run for her money. It took Hayley twenty minutes just to convince Dylan to have some toast and juice at least. She reluctantly did and was grateful for it, eventually, before Hayley left.

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