Page 4 of All the Promises We Break

“I’d hate to see you feel like you have to choose. You’re helping more people than you realize and one day, a long time from now, when dancing is done, you will have this always as a legacy. Your feet will leave their mark, not only on the floor but in hearts too. You can have it all. Your capacity is limitless.”

“That’s a lot. I have to think about it, Eli. I really do.” I created patterns around his forehead a couple more times in the silence between us. Then I ask for something I’ve been missing. Something that centers me. “Will you lay on me? I know that sounds weird but, I want to feel the weight of your body over mine.”

“I suppose it will be a precursor to coming attractions in the weeks ahead? This could prove difficult.”

“I just want to feel calmed by you. I just want to feel peaceful.”

Eli rolls gently off my lap down onto all fours on the floor. He gives my cheek a soft kiss before I swing my legs to the length of the couch. When I’m fully settled, I motion for him to join me. He slithers up and over my body. His head rests softly on my chest as his arms snake under my back with his hands locking over my shoulders.

My lips leave featherlight kisses on the top of his head. Eli’s fingers tense then release over my skin. I whisper to him, “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

A long rolling sigh leaves his body. “Not at all. I hope I’ll fall asleep.”

“Are you still tired?”

“Not really. But at least I can do whatever I want to you in my dreams.”

“I can’t wait for the day when dreams become reality again.”

Chapter Two

Elijah

I’m beginning to like the darkness again. For a long time it was something I dreaded. It was the place where fear and doubt took over. Now it’s the place I can hold something that chases those things away. As much as I like the serenity I get from Dylan’s frame draping over mine, I enjoy blanketing her just as much.

I love how her petite athletic stature fits like the perfect complement into the bends of my body at any given time. I love the rhythmic beat of her heart pounding just under my cheek. I love the deep breaths she takes about once an hour. They catch slightly at the end. That’s how I know she’s fully asleep.

She deserves some peace. She’s spent weeks not taking care of herself. This latest dip in her self-esteem and self-confidence rides wholly on my shoulders. She was injured too. I just wish I could see her scars. I’d at least be able to see the beast I’m facing.

I was ready for the obvious physical effects of the accident. I can measure that I’ll be slower to walk, let alone run. My shoulder will be in rehab for about six months. I accept thememory blanks and hope those around me at the office will be able to as well. I don’t want to fail them, let alone myself.

My subconscious often wanders to my first meetings. Will I have to follow again before I can lead? It’s a never-ending war I battle every time I close my eyes. What will I say? How will it be received?

These dialogues often begin as I ride the fine line between sleep and awake. I write and edit the words over and over. This happens until or unless I get the desired outcome. My eraser is casting out about half of the latest draft as I get pulled to another place.

I can feel subtle twists and ticks beneath me. They pull me from the darkness and my self-inflicted hot seat. I open my eyes, confused for a moment to where I am. The light has gone to twilight. Rush hour traffic noise has faded to the nighttime bustle. The twists and ticks continue. The deep breaths I was used to from Dylan have become more erratic. She’s dreaming. Her body is usually eerily peaceful while she sleeps. I’ve spent many nights watching her.

This is different. There are small childlike groans that rattle in her chest. I need to see how this plays out. If I wake her, she’ll say she doesn’t remember. I don’t want her in pain if this is a nightmare she needs to be woken from.

Her groans become simple words.No. Stop. Eli.

I raise my chin so I can see her face clearly. Her eyes twitch and a single tear drips from the corner. That’s where I draw the line. My arm slowly slides out from behind her back and my thumb wipes the tear away. “Viper. Hey.” My finger finishes contact with her cheek as my words try to coax her back to reality.

Dylan gasps as her eyes dart open. She tries to get out from under my weight like a scared animal would retreat to theircorner. “Hey, hey. Calm down,” I whisper. “You’re here. You’re safe.”

It takes her a few seconds to process what I’ve said and realize where she is. I can see the race of her pulse in her neck with my eyes. “Eli?”

“Yes. It’s me. Are you all right?”

“I… I don’t know. Kiss me?”

“Kiss you?”

“That’s the only way I’ll know I’m not imagining this. Kiss me.”

I would have kissed her without an invitation. I asked her to kiss me once too. It was to make sure I was alive and that she was there with me. I raise myself off the beautiful bed that is her body. Dylan tucks her legs quickly under her. She’s recoiled away from me; afraid this isn’t real. I move toward her body, my knees making deep imprints into the cushions.

My hand reaches into the quiet darkness toward her. The pads of my fingers roll over the back of her neck, pulling her to my lips. I give Dylan a ghost of a kiss at first to make sure she accepts that thisisreal, and wearehere. Alive.

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