Page 34 of All the Promises We Break

Getting off the train three stops early will either be one of the smartest or dumbest things I’ve done in a long time. I didn’t think. I just got up and got off. I run up the stairs, out of the tunnel, and head around the corner to Wes’s apartment. I don’t call first, so I don’t have to hear the word no. I just hope when I get there he’s alone.

I bypass the elevator and jog up a couple of flights. It helps me to burn off a few of the excess nerves. His door is right by the stairs. I don’t even hear the steel of the stairwell latch before I knock. I put my finger over the peep hole, so he has to open the door to see that it’s me. He opens it within a few seconds, and we stand there in a moment of uneasy silence.

Who has enough balls to blink first?

“Hey. What are you doing here?” he asks.

“I don’t know. I was shopping for wedding and bridesmaids dresses with Dylan, our moms and just sort of ended up here. Can I come in?”

“Shit. Yeah sure.” He opens the door wider so I can move past him. I can hear something sizzling on the stove. “I’m making a barbecue for dinner. There’s enough for both of us, if you’d like to stay.”

“I’d like that, actually.”

“Who knows you’re here, Hayles?”

“No one. My roommate thinks I’m staying at my parents’ house tonight. Mom and Dad think I’m back at my apartment. Does it matter?”

“It does and it doesn’t. I don’t know.”

“Wes, can I ask you something?”

“Sure. I can’t guarantee I’ll have an answer.”

“Why haven’t I heard from you in almost two weeks? You texted me more than that before. Now it’s like radio silence.”

He moves the hot pan to the back burner while tossing the towel from his shoulder to the edge of the sink. He leans back against the far kitchen counter. I’m still standing in the foyer, which feels like a mile stretches between us rather than ten feet. “I didn’t know what to say, so I chose to say nothing. By the look on your face, that was a mistake. I’m not sure about what’s between us, but I do know I missed you.”

I missed you. Those three words took a weight off my chest. “I missed you too. I think that’s why I’m here. It’s not the only reason, but one of them.”

“Give me another one.”

“Why?”

“Look, I’m usually a rational human being. Don’t tell Eli I said that. He’ll laugh, but I am. I need the ability to look at all sides to a puzzle quickly and make a decision. With you, I’m back and forth and up and down and I don’t know which way to go.”

“Pro tip… talk to me about being confused instead of turning me off. I tend to think about all the bad things if you do.”

“I’ll try, Hayley. I will. Give me a minute to check the pork in the slow cooker and I’ll be right in. Make yourself at home.”

“Thanks.” I give him a small smile before I go wandering into his dining room and living room. One half of his rectangular dining table is set up like an office. His client files, laptop, and travel calendar are all laid out. The other end has an open bottle of Jack and a tumbler that’s got a sip left in it. His balcony door is slightly open to catch a spring breeze.

In the open shelving under his flat screen is a collection of frames. There is one of my family and another one with his in it. Judging by my age, I think this was around their college graduation. There’s another picture of him and Eli. I think that’s about two years old. Then the last one, nearly hidden from view, is of a guy I think is about my age. I don’t recognize him.

“Dinner will be ready in about an hour or so.” Wes’s voice startles me. I think I actually jumped off the ground.

“Hey. No matter what, you’re still you and I’m still me. You don’t have to be afraid.”

“I am though.”

“You want me to use my words. Try taking a bit of your own advice.”

“Can I have a tumbler of liquid courage first?” I ask.

“Jack? No. Absolutely not.”

“Jesus Christ. I’m not twelve.”

His voice goes nearly inaudible, “Oh, I’m well aware of that.”

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