As we approach the open gate, Aria’s curiosity bubbles over. “Where are we, Daddy? Are we getting a new tree? Or a horse? Can I have a pony?”
The prominent “For Sale” sign is the first thing that catches our attention, followed by the endless stretch of trees, a small lake, and expansive green land. Aria’s questions pause, and when I look at her, I catch her entranced gaze fixed on the scenery outside.
The driver pulls up in front of a beautiful two-story house that already feels like home. Turning to Seraphina, I ask, “Ready?”
She nods, and we all step out of the car. I don’t have to give any specifics to the kids. I’m sure they don’t care about the size of the property. Those are details Seraphina and I find important. The house was built only a couple of years ago, but it’s close to the center, so she’ll have a small commute. And I have enough space to build a studio.
“Why are we here?” Aria asks again, walking closer to Seraphina. Ewan stretches his arms out toward me, and I scoop him up immediately.
“To look at the house,” Seraphina announces. I grab her delicate hand, and the four of us walk toward the empty house. “We’re considering the idea of moving here.”
“There’s a stable,” I say, pointing at the building.
“Can we have horses, Mom?” Ary’s voice lights up.
“Another cat, too? I promise to take care of him this time,” Ewan says, and I can hear some sadness in his voice.
“It wasn’t your fault what happened to Salem. He was just too curious. But we’ll discuss pets, horses, and everything else once we decide if this is the place for us.” She squeezes his little fingers gently. “There’s definitely enough space here for a whole bunch of new pets.”
As we explore each spacious room, I can already envision our future. There’s a fireplace in the library, but also in the primary room where Sephie, and I can spend the night right in front of it, making love.
“How about a little sister?” Ary asks hopefully. “If we move, can we have a baby?”
Sephie’s eyes find mine, searching for the right words, and I offer a noncommittal shrug. “That’s something we can talk about later,” I suggest, trying to keep the conversation light.
The truth? The answer is yes, but the timing isn’t something we can set up right now. Sephie and I feel like it’d be best if we first settle in as a family before we have an addition or two to our clan. But maybe this is a good time to have a serious conversation with my kids.
I place Ewan back on the ground and taking a deep breath, I crouch down to be at the same level as Aria and him. “I love you two so much, just as I love your mom. You all mean everything to me.”
My throat is closing with unshed tears, so I pause to clear it before I continue, “And, if you let me, I want nothing more than to be a part of this family. I promise to love you, to protect you, to strive to be not just a good father but also a friend. To stand by you, no matter what life throws our way.”
Aria’s response is immediate. She wraps her arms around my neck. “I love you, Daddy,” she murmurs between sobs.
As Ewan joins our hug, I feel tears prick my eyes. “I love you both, more than you can know.”
Seraphina’s Epilogue
Seraphina
Two months later . . .
We finally settled into the new house. Even though Brahms made the offer immediately, it took seven weeks to take possession of the property.
As I’m unboxing some of my personal documents, I find my mother’s letter. I want to burn it and open it all at the same time. Though I want to do the former, I decide on the latter. It’s the least I can do, read the last words, even if they hurt. She never found out about the truth so I forgive her.
My dearest Fifi,
I hardly know where to begin this letter. I suppose by saying how deeply sorry I am. Sorry for being so cruel, for pushing you from our lives.
But I did it for you, to save you. Your father . . .he’s a raging alcoholic and sometimes he can’t help himself but lash at others. He likes to inflict physical and emotional pain. I don’t know why I put up with him for so long. I told myself that I had taken a vow, but maybe it was fear of losing the position I had by being a St. Clairmont. Such a stupid and frivolous reason. It seemed important then, now when I’m leaving this world without anything but my soul I regret it.
Either way, it was something that I didn’t want you to witness or be a victim of. And since Brahms was out of your life, I had to do what I thought was best—push you as far away as I could. It was the only way I found to protect you.
Now, facing mere weeks or months left, my greatest regret is not having you near, not being able to hold you or meet my grandbabies. How I wish I had cherished every moment we had.
I pray one day you will find it in your heart to forgive me, and understand why I made this choice. Zane sacrificed a lot for me, and he made me swear that I would protect you from your father at all costs.And so I had to do it, even when it shattered me to be so cruel and indifferent to you. Even knowing you must hate me now. I still kept my word out of love to both of you.
Wherever I am, know that I am watching over you always. Hopefully reunited with Zane and Iris—I’ve missed them desperately. Surviving those first months without them seemed impossible.