Page 11 of Rough and Tumble

He takes off his flannel and wraps it around my shoulders, then tugs his jeans back on, just in time for the boys to barge in. I say ‘boys,’ but they all look about my age.

“You don’t knock now either?” Sergei bites.

One of the men looks at me and the rest stammer back. One by one I watch their jaws drop. I never met his sons. I heard about them, knew every detail of their lives, but they were off doing work in Washington for the few months that my family and I were in Alaska.

“Holy fuck.” I recognize the man’s voice from the phone. He must be Rowan. “What the hell is going on here?”

I straighten my hair and cross my arms over my chest.

They’re asking a question they already know the answer to. How could they not? My hair is a mess, I’m wearing their father’s flannel, and Sergei sounds flustered. He never sounds flustered.

They stare at us in unison. First toward their father, then toward me, and back again.

“Why are you here?” Sergei grumbles.

After a long silence, Rowan says, “There are sightings of that bear coming up to this property. Folks on the east end of town watched him run up here last night and the neighbors to the west of us say they saw him headed for the woods near the greenhouse. Figured I’d rally the guys to come check it out.”

“You’re saying there’s a bear in the greenhouse? The bear, who’s been out maneuvering us for the past two months, just walked his ass in to wait for us?”

Rowan nods. “We need a fifth man. Figured you’d want to be a part of this, but maybe I was wrong.”

Sergei glances toward me. “I don’t want to go.”

“You have to go. This is what you came here for.”

“Not anymore.” He cups my face in his hand and kisses my lips with intention.

The boys laugh and back out of the cabin. This is more confirmation that he doesn’t feel this way for anyone else. His own sons are surprised to see him like this.

“Ignore them.”

“You have to go out there. You came to do this together. Go!”

He glances out the back window as the men trek toward the greenhouse, guns drawn.

“They’ve fucked this up every single time. I should probably go out.” He kisses my forehead. “You’re not leaving. Take that pretty ass into the bedroom and wait for me. I’ll be back in ten minutes, tops.” He kisses my lips again and again like he doesn’t want to let go.

I suppose this should make me feel good, and it does, but it also hurts. To think I spent years with a man who I had to beg for affection, and with Sergei, it just happens. The love is there. When we say it, it won’t be a big surprise, or a statement that changes much of anything because love has always been there… even if it was a ghost in the back of our minds until now.

I know Lark would tell me I can’t rewrite the past, and that I chose to leave Sergei all those years ago because I believed what I was doing was best for my daughter. That’s true, and she turned out pretty great because of it, but still, there’ll always be a part of me that wishes I could go back and take something for myself too.

When Sergei is outside, I climb the stairs in the old cabin and swing open doors until I find a bedroom that overlooks the green house. The guys aren’t there yet, but I can already see there’s no bear. Maybe I should be a hunter. This seemed like a much more reasonable solution than trekking out into the snow with guns drawn, but what do I know?

I lean against the sill and stare out into the snowy day. There’s a storm on the horizon as dark clouds swirl in the distance. The men are at the corner of the lot. It’s crazy how much they all look alike. Big, rough, even some of the tattoos look similar.

Sergei and I spent so much time together in Alaska, but I never got to see him like this, with his boys, doing what they love. I can’t imagine what it must have been like raising them all on his own. I wasn’t technically a single mother, but I may as well have been. Steve was always busy, and Everleigh and I were on our own most days. For a while, I hated that he left for fieldwork months on end. I couldn’t take her from school for every trip. But as the years went on, I began to love the break and enjoy the time alone with Everleigh.

Sergei lifts his gun and aims, and the boys follow suit. I follow the line of sight across the field, my chest tight. The giant grizzly appears, a scar on his chest, and a strip of white across his head. As they approach, he stands on his hind legs, warning them to keep their distance. It’s the first time I’ve seen him. People in town have been going on and on about how he’s broken into their shops and their cars. Folks on the mountain talk about him causing havoc on their property, and how he’s threatened their families, while evading capture on every possible path.

Thankfully, I haven’t had that problem. If I had, I’m pretty sure I’d be calling for help too. This is the biggest bear I’ve ever seen. He rivals the size of the greenhouse when on his hind paws.

“We count to five,” Sergei orders.

The men poise themselves across from the bear, aiming to shoot.

I look away. I’ve never seen an animal shot before, and though I know this one is doing a lot of damage, I can’t watch him go down. It isn’t until I hear the soft cry of another animal that I turn back toward the window.

In the greenhouse huddled beneath the benches are two bear cubs crying for help.

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