Page 27 of Mortals and Mayhem

“You had a panic attack mid-pleasure, and we stopped. You shared something vulnerable with us, something we haven’t shared with the others, and we won’t. But I think it’s important for you to remember that you opened up with us. When you’re ready, we want you to know that you can share the rest with us. There’s no pressure and no judgment.” Axel says, resting his hand on my hip and tucking a lock of hair behind my ear with the other.

Nervousness has me hiding my gaze, following my hand as it moves along the smooth, warm flesh of Cree’s chest. My finger traces the outline of tattoos decorating his muscular pec. I never really noticed all the amazing artwork he has. His body is like a living canvas, inked in black with shades of grey, covering every inch of skin I can see from neck to ankle.

Mesmerized, I trace the image of a large grey wolf, curling around the left side of his rib cage. Standing over the wolf is a large bear, his head bowed to rest his nose behind the wolf's left ear. The depiction of these two amazing, powerful creatures is beautifully done with firm lines and shading.

“What does this picture mean? The one of the bear and wolf?” I ask as my finger traces absently over the ears of the bear. Cree squirms with a groan, causing me to giggle. “Sorry, didn’t know you were ticklish.”

"Mhmmm," he hums, and I tickle him again. I just can't help myself. It’s so much fun to watch him squirm.

His hand resting on my hip quickly slides up, wrapping around my side. Flinching, my eyes snap to his. “Don't you fucking think about it, mister.” He grins as I flatten my palm on his chest and give a little shove. “Cree … I mean it. Don't you fucking do—” My words are cut off as his fingers dig into my side. Over and over, he tickles me without mercy.

I try to push back away from his relentless hands, but Axel halts my futile attempts at escape. My eyes are watering, and both guys are laughing. My stomach suddenly flips, and all fun is over. “Oh, gods.” I shove against Cree, pushing Axel off the bed, and bolt across the room to the bathroom. Bending over, my knees meet the floor in front of the toilet. My hair is gathered at the nape of my neck, the loose strands pulled back from my face by gentle fingers, and a cool cloth is tucked inside my fist.

“Thank you,” I choke out before the next wave of nausea hits me.

Done cleaning all the acid and bile from my empty stomach, I lie down on my side on the cool tile floor. I sigh as the chill from the ceramic squares cools my heated skin. “That feels amazing,” I whisper, tucking the corner of the towel back inside the top knot.

Cree sits above me and lifts my head, resting it on his lap. Turning, I curl into him, placing my leg between his, trying to absorb his healing energy. “Tell me what the bear and wolf mean. Please,” I whisper.

“Okay,” Cree agrees while running his fingers through my hair. “The bear stands beside the wolf with his head wrapped over the wolf's neck as a sign of equality with a need to protect her. He doesn’t stand in front of her, blocking her from all harm, forcing her to follow him. He doesn’t stand behind her, submissive like a subject or soldier, bowing to every command. And he doesn’t lord over her, dictator nor master. Rather, he stands beside her as her equal. He wraps his head around her neck to show his love for her, to protect her blind spots from attack. His only desire and need is to guard and guide as she needs him to.”

He goes silent, allowing me to lie here on the bathroom floor, my head on his lap, as I replay what he just explained to me over and over again in my head. Deep down, a part of me knows he’s talking about us. About what he desires to give me. Can I accept that kind of commitment and devotion? The idea of opening myself to another person is overwhelming at best. But I have five mates, and that’s downright terrifying.

I don’t know how long we stay like this, me lost in my thoughts. I vaguely remember Axel coming in with an oversized shirt and a blanket at some point when the chill of the floor sent shivers racing through me, causing goosebumps to break out along my arms.

“Riley? Come on, little wolf. Let’s get you back to bed.” Cree lifts me up, carries me back into the bedroom, and sets me down in the middle of the bed. Concern shines in his eyes, and I have to look away, unable to hold his gaze. The tenderness with which he handles me is telling—too telling.

My heart races, and sweat forms on my brows, hands, and down my back. My breathing comes in short, fast gasps. Ugly, deranged thoughts run through my mind.

He could never love you.

You’re broken, ugly, and unworthy of his time, let alone his love.

Everyone you love leaves you, anyway, so why bother.

I close my eyes and picture the blue of Reed’s eyes, recalling and focusing on each individual shade. Using the focal point method Reed worked on with me.

One blue.

Two blues.

Three blues.

Inhale and exhale. I am in control.

I open my eyes to find myself back in the room Reed calls mine. Reed stands in front of a distraught looking Cree. I can’t hear what they’re saying, but the emotions are clear. “Reed?”

“Yeah, Riley, I’m here. You’re doing good, baby. Tell me what your focus point is,” he instructs me.

“Your eyes,” I reply back, only slightly embarrassed to admit that out loud.

“Wow, I do believe you flatter me, Ms. Wright,” Reed states with a chuckle. “Good, keep going.” He reaches his hands out to me and holds them there, palms up, waiting for me. I slowly reach out, gliding my fingertips over his. Slowly moving over his palms until my hands rest inside his strong steady ones. He anchors me to the here and now as I take a large breath and slowly let it out. The guys are standing around me in a protective circle. My eyes land on Cree, his bear shining through. His body vibrates with agitation as Cree fights to keep the bear at bay.

“I’m so sorry, Cree.” Guilt grips me, and I feel the tears burning behind my eyes before they slip free. Gods, these men have turned me into a crybaby.

Cree leaps forward, shoving Reed out of the way, and grabs me by the chin, forcing my eyes to meet his. “Do not ever be sorry, Riley. Not for this. Not for being human. For having a shit-show past that we have just touched the surface of. We all have shit we need to fucking deal with. And I promise you, Riley, we will fucking deal with it ... together ... all of us. We’re not going anywhere.” As he emphasizes the word not, his eyes go to Enzo. That whole little speech was as much for him as it was for me, it seems.

I nod in acknowledgement before I start to feel faint and sway where I sit. Axel jumps up behind me to steady me by my shoulders. “We need to get some food in you, Riley.”

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