“I love you,” he whispered, then kissed me.
I just lay there, paralyzed by my emotions, until he pulled away.
He frowned as he peered down at me. “Are you okay?”
Only then did I realize that tears were streaming from my eyes and trickling down the sides of my face.
“What’s wrong?” he whispered.
I shook my head, unable to speak.
I don’t know, I wanted to say, but my lips wouldn’t form the words.
“It’s okay,” he whispered, and he started to pull out –
NO!
All I knew was that I didn’t want him to leave. I desperately wanted him inside me.
Not just because it felt so good –
But because I was afraid if he pulled out of me, I would lose him.
Crazy, I know – but I didn’t understand anything I was feeling.
I was overwhelmed, tossed on a sea of emotion –
But I knew I wanted him.
I wanted him more than anything…
More than everything.
I grabbed under his arm and stopped him from pulling out any further.
“Don’t,” I managed to choke out as tears streamed down my face.
“Are you sure?” he whispered in concern.
I nodded, unable to speak.
He slowly eased back all the way, and I closed my eyes with the pure pleasure of feeling him so deep inside me.
He gently brushed back the hair from my face. “If this is too much – you don’t have to…”
He trailed off, but I knew the next words:
You don’t have to say it back.
You don’t have to say ‘I love you.’
But I did love him.
I did –
But it just terrified me to say it.
It felt like I was opening myself up in a way I never had –