Page 328 of Lars

I was still so angry at him… and so hurt… that it was difficult to move on.

Alistair helped me move on.

Whenever I was in town, we dined together at least once a week.

He made me smile. I never laughed like I had with Lars… but it was something.

Alistair was always kind…

And more than that, he was always there.

Despite the amount of time we spent together, Alistair never made a move on me –

Until New Year’s Eve.

He’d just been promoted to Director of Global Operations. Because of his new position, he’d been invited to a hoity-toity New Year’s Eve party – and he asked me to go with him.

“Please,” he begged me. “It’s going to be aristocrats and government types. I have to go – but it will be dreadfully boring without you.”

He’d already given me so much that I felt obligated to say yes. So I agreed.

He picked me up in a chauffeured limousine. When he came to the door, he was rather dashing in his tailored tuxedo.

“You… look astounding,” he said, his eyes wide.

Maybe it was stupid, but the way he stared at me…

I felt desirable for the first time in a long while. And it felt good.

The limousine was provided by MI6, he explained as he helped me into the back. “Can’t have the Director of Global Operations driving drunk and getting arrested.”

The party was at Buckingham Palace, of all places. I felt like a fairytale princess as we walked in, arm in arm.

Even more impressive were the people who came up to congratulate him: lords and ladies, members of parliament – people who were in the news every week. The head of MI6 even introduced us to the Prime Minister.

I was used to people’s eyes being on me because of my appearance – but here, it was Alistair who was the big draw. He was the one whom everybody circled like moths to a flame.

Everyone treated him with such respect that it made me see him in a different light.

When it finally reached midnight, I was on my fourth glass of champagne. I was buzzed and happy – feeling better than I had in months. Maybe years.

The crowd chanted the countdown: three… two… one! Happy New Year!

Alistair and I smiled at each other awkwardly, knowing what was expected –

And so when he reached in to kiss me, I went with it.

His lips stayed on mine longer than necessary…

And I found I didn’t mind.

When he pulled back, he looked deeply into my eyes. “Rachel… you know I would always be here for you, don’t you? I would never leave you.”

Between the alcohol, the palace, all the famous people, and walking around on the arm of one of the most respected men in the room… the evening’s magic had worked its way past my usual defenses.

“I know,” I said quietly… and let him kiss me again.

It wasn’t passionate. It wasn’t hot. It wasn’t like kissing Lars.

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