Page 322 of Lars

Instead, I found myself staring out the window towards St. James Park.

Where Lars had told me he loved me…

And where we’d fought before he disappeared.

There was a tap at the door. I looked over, startled –

And saw Alistair frowning.

Great.

Just what I need right now.

“Are you all right?” he asked.

“I’m fine,” I said in a dull, very not-fine voice. “Why?”

“You look like you’re not sleeping. Or eating, for that matter.”

Again with the comments on my appearance.

“I’m fine,” I snapped.

He looked taken aback. “Alright – I was just concerned for you. If there’s anything I can do, I’m happy to help.”

Then he turned and left.

I immediately felt bad.

All of Alistair’s attempts in the past had been fairly innocent. More schoolboy than lecher.

And to be fair, Sean had told me I looked like shit just a few days ago when I went to Operations and –

Operations.

Three months before, Alistair had just been promoted from Assistant Director to Director of Operations in Europe.

If anyone could help me, it was him.

“Wait!” I called out as I jumped up from my chair.

He must have heard me because he turned back and met me at the door of the office.

“Yes?” he asked.

I hesitated.

Should I ask?

It wasn’t appropriate –

And it wasn’t kind, asking the man who had a crush on me to help me find my lover –

But I was desperate.

“…there is something…” I whispered. “But I can’t tell you here.”

Ironically enough, Alistair and I went to Nova Casa – the Portuguese restaurant where I’d blown him off – so we could talk in private. It was after the lunch crowd and before dinner, so we were two of a handful of people in the restaurant.

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