Page 152 of Lars

She glared at me, then finally answered, “NATO. NATO could have gotten you out.” She paused. “…maybe.”

I just looked at her.

“So you’re working with NATO?” she asked crossly.

“I can neither confirm nor deny,” I said, attempting a joke.

I wasn’t working with NATO, but I hoped she might accept that as a possibility and move on.

She didn’t.

“Then why haven’t I heard about it through work?” she demanded.

“Maybe because they don’t tell you everything,” I said, letting my irritation get the best of me.

That made her even colder. “They tell me a hell of a lot more than you are right now.”

“Go ahead and report me, then,” I snapped.

I knew that Alistair would squelch any inquiries she made, so I wasn’t worried.

The fact that I was so confident threw her. She looked uncomfortable, like I was calling her bluff.

“…I will.”

“Good,” I snapped. “Maybe then you’ll stop hounding me about this.”

She just glared at me.

I shook my head in irritation. “You don’t trust me at all, do you?”

“I don’t trust anybody,” she said coldly.

That was like a punch to the gut.

For a second, I felt desperate to connect with her – and I let down my guard.

“I love you, Rachel,” I said quietly.

“And I love you, too,” she said, just as chilly as before. “But a week ago, you were a soldier in the Swedish military. Now you’re… I have no idea what the fuck you are now.”

I’d let myself be vulnerable, and she’d thrown it back in my face.

I began to get angry again.

“I’ve never known what you do – some spy shit. That was it. But you told me I couldn’t ask, so I didn’t – ”

“Yeah, but as I keep reminding you, you KNEW what you were getting into from the very beginning. You had to agree to it upfront for our relationship to go anywhere. I never signed up for you lying to me.”

“I’m not lying to you!”

“Okay, then – withholding information.”

“This is so like you,” I snarled. “YOU can do whatever you want, and I have to trust you 100 percent – but it doesn’t go both ways, does it?”

“I told you, I don’t trust anyone – ”

“YOU HAVE TO!” I shouted. Then I got ahold of myself. “At some point, if we’re going to make a life together, you HAVE to trust me.”

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