Page 95 of Cross To Bear

And I didn’t know how to deal with that.

My mother never did a thing for me other than what she had to. I assume when I was a baby she fed me, but as soon as I could pour myself a glass of milk or a bowl of cereal, it was all my responsibility. I barely held back the need to feed, care for, and cosset Maddie most days, but this? I could smell her pain, from standing up too bloody long cooking, but more than that.

Pain I caused.

I wasn’t acknowledging her efforts, giving her back the love she lavished on me, and while it wasn’t something I needed, most people did. They needed to be recognised, acknowledged, and while I had attempted to do that at the start of the meal, as I ate, I realised it wasn’t enough. I needed to make clear just how much I fucking treasured everything she’d done.

“Thanks for this, Maddie. The food’s amazing, but…”

I sounded like a freaking gimp right now. I didn’t feel like a big bloke who could bench press a hundred kilos without raising a sweat. He was replaced by the skinny little kid I’d been when I met Crash and the boys. I didn’t want to be my mother’s uncared for, unloved son right now, I wanted to be Maddie’s mate. Tell her what this means to you, I thought furiously. Tell her how much you love that she’s done this.

“I don’t think anyone’s ever cooked a feed this good for me before. You did all this research and worked so hard to make me something I’d love and...”

How did I tell her without sending her running again? That I loved this, loved the care she’d lavished on the meal and therefore me. That I loved that she’d recognised my efforts to make her happy and gave me the same treatment. That I loved her.

“I should’ve said that at the start, but you knocked me for six with this. I don’t know if anyone’s made a meal like this for me ever.”

It wasn’t good enough. It wasn’t, but as I thought that furiously, Crash made some stupid comment about dessert, derailing the conversation, and then Maddie disappeared under the table.

Only to put her hands on me.

My whole body went rigid, my cock trying to punch its way past my zipper, until she eased it down, making clear what she intended. “Maddie…” I hissed, looking around the room to see if anyone noticed, but they were all caught up in the bullshit banter going around the table. I couldn’t add a fucking thing, because my mouth went bone dry as hers slid over the head of my cock.

Fuck…

I didn’t mean to buck up into that hot velvety softness, and when I heard a choked off sound, I instantly regretted it. My hands went under the tablecloth, reaching for Maddie to pull her off, right before she went to move.

Jesus fucking Christ.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. I’d been tossing around ideas for dinner all day, wanting to ensure we had the perfect afternoon, but every thought was driven out of my head by this.

Warm, wet and oh so tight, her hand circled the base of my cock, as my brain stuttered to a stop, because all I could do was feel.

“You all right over there, brother?” Razor asked with a knowing smile, but even when my mouth fell open, I couldn’t answer. Sounds came out of my throat, not words.

“What’s going on?” Crash asked. “Did Maddie cook the steak medium rather than rare?”

“No, Hawk is enjoying steak and blowjob day,” Bjorn replied.

“What the fu…?”

Crash looked under the tablecloth, then his eyes widened and that had me feeling curiously protective. My hands went to Maddie’s hair to pull her off, but I didn’t get far. She was sucking my cum out from my balls, in long, sloppy, strokes that had my eyes rolling back in my head. “Shit, so he is. Maddie, do we all get this, because damn…”

“Might be a bit hard on her leg, being under the table like that,” Bjorn observed and that’s what broke the spell for me. The fact she cooked for me rather than the other way around felt wrong, but hurting herself to please me.

“Maddie…” I panted, pushing my plate aside and flipping the tablecloth up. “Maddie, I don’t need…”

She peered up at me, eyes welling with tears, a mouthful of my cock, but while she couldn’t have looked more beautiful, I saw the pain there she was trying to fight past. Not on my fucking watch. I yanked her free, reaching down and carefully drawing her upwards and into my lap, forced to push the table aside in doing so.

“Hey, I wasn’t done with that!” Crash said as his dinner shifted sideways.

“I am.” She was in my arms now, her cast a heavy weight against my thigh. “Maddie, that must’ve been killing your leg.”

“I was fine.” She looked up at me with a hurt expression. “That was me trying to make you feel good for a change, rather than it always being just you. I wanted…” Her fingers flexed. “I wanted—”

“You make me feel good any time you’re close to me.” I pushed my face into her hair and breathed in deep, smelling the pain and pleasure, the arousal and the exhaustion. “That’s all you have to do to please me. Just be by my side…”

And that’s when I realised what really needed to happen tonight. I scooped my girl up and carried her down to my bedroom, kicking the door closed when I heard the others following us. I laid Maddie down carefully, so carefully down on the bed. Then I jerked my t-shirt off over my head and shoved down my jeans before joining her.

---