Page 94 of Cross To Bear

“It’s not needed, but we appreciate it anyway, don’t we, brother?”

Razor nodded to Hawk, who just stared at the plate, then the side dishes.

The whole room felt like it hung on his word, waiting for his judgement. Knives and forks were picked up, cloth napkins flicked out over laps, but nothing more, not until Hawk gave the word.

“You got me wagyu?”

“Ahh…” This whole thing seemed perfect inside my head, but right now I was regretting every second. My leg throbbed, but not more than my heart. I wanted him to tell me he loved it, it shouted. That he loved that I’d cooked for him. That he loved me. Because if he did, I could say it back, but instead I just sighed. “When I looked online, people said it was the best quality steak, that all the fat marbling—”

“Renders down as you cook it,” Hawk told me with a tiny smile. “Making the steak juicy and tender.” He grabbed his utensils then poked the steak. “You cooked it rare so as to not dry it out.”

“Right.” I dared to smile then. “I was just trying…”

But before I could finish the sentence, he cut into his steak and took a bite.

Never had I watched a man so closely when eating. I fixated on his expression, catching the wary look that quickly transmuted into something else. A little flutter of his eyelids, a rapid intake of breath, then him going back for more, cutting off another piece, then another, before turning to me.

“It’s good.” He let out a little groan. “It’s really fucking good. Maddie…” I wasn’t going to cry. I just wasn’t. “Thank you for cooking such an amazing meal for me. It’s perfect.”

Oh god, the release in tension around the table was almost sexual. People moved then, helping themselves to garlic and herb bread or salad and sides, piling their plates up, but always offering me the first choice. I smiled and then turned to my own steak, cutting into it and taking a bite.

It was everything people had raved about on the cooking blogs and more, the steak parting under the knife’s blade like butter. It tasted even better when I took a bite, virtually melting in my mouth. The rich earthy meat and the marinade made for a perfect combination, something Hawk noticed.

“You like it?” I nodded. “Hmm… I’ve got some ideas now.”

“You two are gonna have a steak off?” Crash pointed his knife at me, then Hawk. “Holy fuck, all of my dreams have come true at once. Steak every night. Fuck yeah!”

“Surely you’d get sick of steak,” I said.

“Nope.” He laid a hand over his head. “I am a simple man with simple tastes.”

“So very, very simple,” Bjorn added with a grin.

“I would never get sick of having the things I love every day.”

Crash’s gaze held mine, his smile faltering as something real rose, but before I could interrogate that further, Razor threw a bread roll at his head.

“I hope you like doing the dishes, because Maddie is not doing them.”

“So you’re volunteering?” Crash shot back, then held up his hands. “I don’t want to get dishpan hands.”

As the banter raged across the table, I refocussed my attention back on Hawk, something he noted with a thoughtful look, before his hand slid across the table. He grabbed mine and squeezed.

“Thanks for this, Maddie. The food’s amazing, but…” He blinked. “I don’t think anyone’s ever cooked a feed this good for me before. You did all this research and worked so hard to make me something I’d love and...” His words seemed to fail him and I understood why. I couldn’t even have let out a croak right now. “I should’ve said that at the start, but you knocked me for six with this. I don’t know if anyone’s made a meal like this for me ever.”

“I will.” My eyes ached, tears wanting to rise up, but I kept them stuffed down. “You look after us all the time, but I want to look after you too, so sometimes I’ll cook for you something that you’ll like. I might give you a head’s up first this time but—”

“Damn, that was incredible.” Crash slapped his swollen stomach. “So, what’s for dessert?”

That was my cue. I dropped my fork with a clatter. “Oops!”

The way Mal had described this part of the evening seemed so simple when we were talking, but now I was actually trying to crawl under the table to retrieve the piece of cutlery, I wasn’t so sure. I landed on my knees with a wince, then dragged my leg after me as I dove under the tablecloth. But when I saw Hawk’s massive thighs before me, I knew what I had to do. His whole body went rigid as my hands rubbed up and down them, going very still as I eased down his zipper. And then, I reached inside his jeans and fished him out.

Chapter 54

Hawk

Maddie cooked for me. No, more than that, she meticulously planned, prepared, ordered ingredients (which explained the faint scent of a strange male in the house) and then made a goddam feast for the lot of us.

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