Page 77 of Cross To Bear

Let her set the pace. Let her feel like she was in control. She was anyway, so why fight that? Of course, I wasn’t the one who’d sunk his fangs into her neck in front of our whole bar, so maybe that added an extra element I couldn’t see. It couldn’t be any worse than this. Knowing what Maddie sounded like when she came but not what her coffee order was. Being able to taste her on my tongue yet not being able to just hold her, snuggle in close and know she was mine. We’d gotten to know our girl real well sexually, but that was always just foreplay. It was the emotional connection I craved and right now I worried if the rest of us would ever find it.

“I have to go and see Mum and Dad Monday night,” she said.

“So I’ll come with you.” Razor spared the rest of us a sidelong look. “We’ll come with you.”

“To my parents’ place?” The alarm in her voice quickly transmuted into a ragged laugh. “Jesus, if they didn’t like Jesse, can you imagine…?”

She looked at us then, as if seeing the lot of us for the first time, her eyes getting wider and wider. Yep, she was gonna run and my brother was the one who was forcing her to flee.

“I’ll give you a call, let you know what I’m doing. If I don’t stay too late at the parentals, I can come by afterwards.”

And with that, she pushed her chair back, going down the hall, not to one of our rooms, but the spare room.

“I’m driving her to the rental place,” Razor growled, shoving his seat back.

“You’re driving her away.” Everyone looked at me then. I just shrugged. “You aren’t thinking about Maddie right now.”

“I can’t think of anything but,” Razor snapped. “It’s like a red fucking haze inside my head and all it screams for is Maddie.”

“Then it’s a good thing she’s going home.” Razor looked at Bjorn, the betrayal he felt clear on his face. “We follow her lead, get her what she needs, not put what we want first. It’s what we’ve all been taught.”

“This is the way,” Hawk added, the fucking big nerd. Pretty sure he thought himself Din Djarrin, being all stoic and shit.

“You’re crowding her, smothering her…” Bjorn’s voice trailed away as Maddie returned wearing the clothes she’d worn when I’d picked her up from the office and carrying a plastic bag with the others. “Ready to go?” he asked. She nodded. “So I can call you a cab or one of us can drive you.”

“A cab is fine.”

I think the whole room waited for an outburst from Razor, but when none came, I sent up a brief prayer to the bear gods.

“Nothing bad’s going to happen,” Maddie said, looking up at him. “I’m just trying to catch up with the rest of you.”

“We can give you time, can’t we, brother?” Bjorn said. “You’re bonded. You’ve got the rest of your lives together.”

“We have the rest of our lives together,” I corrected, getting up and walking real slow towards our girl. “Isn’t that right, Maddie?”

“That’s right.” Was that gratitude or something else in her eyes? I didn’t care, just that she was looking at me, not flinching when I drew her close for a kiss. Just a soft one, a gentle one, there and gone again, hopefully leaving her wanting more. “This is… new, really new,” she admitted. “It’s the first time I’ve really felt like I’m getting into a relationship with people that are there for me and that’s hard. I’m not bailing because I’m scared. I’m just taking time to get my head together. I know that pisses you off—”

Razor moved then, appearing at her other side and cutting her words off as he slammed them down on hers. He kissed her with all the wild abandon I dared not let out, until finally he pulled back.

“I said I’ll give you whatever you need and I meant it,” he told her. “You need a sleepy Sunday to get your head together? We’ll be here when you’re ready. Whatever you need, you just ask for, even if it’s something we don’t like. That’s how this shit works.”

She let out a long breath, smiling finally, and that helped unlock the tension I felt. Maybe, just maybe, we’d get through this without fucking shit up. I stepped aside as Bjorn went to say his goodbyes.

“Look after my handiwork,” he told her, cupping her head in his hands. “Keep the tattoo clean and—”

“Well moisturised.” She smiled after completing his sentence. “I know.” She squeezed his wrists before pulling away. “It’ll be fine.” But before she could go, Hawk was there with a cotton shopping bag full of food. “Oh, you didn’t need—”

“You need to eat.” He pressed the bag into her hands. “This is one less thing for you to worry about.”

One less thing for him to worry about really. Because that was the tension that thrummed in the room, despite our best efforts to dispel it. It’d stay there until this was resolved. With Maddie moving in with us, wearing a bite from each of us on her skin or…

With her walking away, despite the mating bond that’d snapped in place with Razor.

Last night I’d been fucking stoked by the news, but that had been so short lived. We’d gotten over what felt like an insurmountable hurdle only to find there were yet more to jump. But we’d keep on trying, that was what I took away from this moment. Try or die, there was no other way.

Chapter 46

“Good morning!” Mal said as I walked in the door of my workplace, Monday morning. I spent Sunday getting a hire car then heading home only to feel… lost. No, that wasn’t quite right, just off kilter. Like the familiar cocoon of my apartment was too small and too big all at the same time. “And how are you this…” Her eyes narrowed as she took in the floral scarf I’d been forced to wind around my neck. “What’s going on here?” She waved a finger around in the air. “What the fuck is this and when did you start wearing poofy scarves around your neck? Are you going to start putting on hand painted silk blouses before work and wearing way too much Chanel N°5?”

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