Page 26 of Cross To Bear

“Definitely spoons,” Bjorn confirmed, then frowned. “Where did the flowers come from?”

They weren’t exactly florist perfect, but I’d managed to find a healthy handful of roses, and in some ways, they were better. The scent of Maddie and the rich perfume from the flowers mixed, grew deeper.

“Old lady’s garden up the road.”

I’d slipped out while Bjorn had a little moment with our girl in the bathroom and procured them.

“You stole roses from an old lady?” He shook his head. “Maddie lives here, for now.” That was tacked on afterwards. “We can’t go pissing off her neighbours.”

“She gave them to me, dickhead.” I grinned. “She was out pruning her bushes, and I offered her some money for some roses. The old duck wanted to know what for and I explained. Then she was cutting off this one and that one and made me something she called a posy and wished me luck.” I shrugged. “Nothing the old Razor charm…”

It was at that moment that Maddie emerged from her bedroom and there was no more talking, just her.

Wet hair tumbled over her shoulders and part of me wanted to dry it, fluff it all up with a hair dryer, and the other half wanted to feel those slick strands wrapped around my fist. She was wearing a pair of those fluffy flannel pyjamas that girls always think are ugly, but instead are soft and pettable, just like her. She shuffled out somewhat self-consciously. I pulled a lighter from my pocket, and as she drew closer, moved to light a candle I’d found on her windowsill.

“What’s all—?”

Right as she was about to ask me something, there was a rap on the door. Fuck, the food. I turned and headed to the door, pulling out my wallet and a sheaf of bills that would more than cover the costs, handed that over to the delivery driver before he could say a thing, then grabbed the bag of food. The door was shut and locked behind me, as I turned back to the table.

“Have a seat.” Bjorn ushered her towards the table, taking her gin and tonic and placing it in front of her, then pulling out her chair. My palms itched, almost able to feel the carved wood back, as he tucked it under her and took a deep breath in.

Pulling in her scent. We all did it when we were around her. It's how we knew it was time to replenish her drink or find her something to eat, or sit down and chat with her. All the shit Jesse should’ve been doing. We weren’t doing ourselves any favours, looking after her as best we could, while she was in a relationship with Bjorn’s brother. It’d come out at some point, and she’d… Feel betrayed. The plastic bag crinkled in my hand as I gripped it tighter and that had her looking up. Those beautiful brown eyes, they sucked me in every time, making clear what we needed to do.

Make up for all of the bullshit from before.

“Sit down,” she said, about to get to her feet, but Bjorn’s hands kept her right where she was. “You rescued my car and bought me dinner—”

“And now we’re going to serve it to you.”

I’d scrubbed the fuck out of my greasy hands in the kitchen sink then cleaned away any residue, so when I took the containers out of the bag, I was good to handle food. I dished up a huge feed for me and Bjorn and went for something a bit smaller for Maddie.

“I can’t eat all of that!” she said in alarm as I set the bowl before her, the satays sitting on a side plate with some peanut sauce trickled over it. I’ve watched MasterChef. I know we eat with our eyes before we taste a meal.

“So don’t.” I shrugged and sat down beside her, Bjorn taking the bowl I handed him. “We’ll put the leftovers in a container and you can have them for lunch.”

And one of us would be there to eat them with her. Operation Maddie had stalled for a little bit when she kicked us out, but now it was back in play.

“Well…” She wanted to protest, say something, because I knew. For some reason Maddie felt uncomfortable when people looked after her. It was why she was with that little shit, Jesse, in the first place. Someone at some point had made clear to her that she was supposed to be the carer, not the cared for. “Thank you,” she said finally. “This smells amazing.”

And I didn’t taste a fucking bite of it when I finally ate my meal. Instead, I felt the bone deep satisfaction of my mate eating food I’d bought her. My eyes followed every spoonful as it went from the bowl to that perfect pink mouth, until I’d stopped eating myself and just watched.

“So, you know staring is rude, right?”

She shot me a wry look.

“Not staring,” I said, shaking my head and yanking my attention back to my own bowl. “Just… making sure you like the food.”

“Well, for future reference, if a woman is plus size and has the weird history with food I do thanks to my mother”—her eyes met mine because I couldn’t keep looking away—“then all that attention when I’m eating is a little off putting. As far back as I can remember, Mum watched me like a hawk around food.”

“She did what?” Bjorn asked.

“It’s fine.” She waved her hand dismissively. “I went to therapy, got past it and made clear if she wants to have a relationship with me, then talking about food, diet or my size is absolutely and completely off the table.”

I wanted to talk about her size. Those rounded hips, that perfect swell of an arse and that little tummy. She was all soft where I was so fucking hard. I dreamed about it, what it’d be like to strip her of every stitch of clothes, to spread her out before me and stroke my cock as I stared down at her, then pushed her thighs open, right as I discovered the hot, wet little secret between her legs, but I’d spent enough time to know something about women. Getting a bunch of very smart, very capable people to focus unduly on a part of themselves they couldn’t do a lot to change seemed a helluva way to keep them compliant.

“Maybe don’t watch me eat. It’s weird.”

“It’s mainly because the bear takes a lot of satisfaction knowing that you’re fed, nourished and that he was the one that made that happen,” I said, trying to keep my eyes trained on my food, not hers. “The man…” My eyes flicked up for just a second as I smiled. “He just likes seeing you put things in your mouth.” I watched her pupils expand there, her breath come in slightly faster. “But I’m prepared to compromise. Eat your fill.” I nodded to the bowl. “Then Bjorn will do the dishes—”

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