Page 54 of Cross To Bear

Chapter 32

I felt loose and languid, boneless with pleasure, so how could I be reaching for more? Because as Hawk went to take Crash’s place, I felt that same greedy urge. More, my body demanded, being forced to ride the knife edge of need for so fucking long. One orgasm wasn’t enough to drive out that feeling, so as Hawk covered my body with his, my hands smoothed across his chest, feeling those hard muscles, that incredible breadth, and I drew him closer.

So close I caught the moment his brows knotted as his cock brushed against me.

Hawk always looked so terribly serious, but right now? There was something else to his expression. Wonder? Shock? Relief? I couldn’t seem to get an accurate read on his expression, which had me peering closer. Something he noted, his gaze locking with mine, and that was when I realised my mistake. Because whatever masks we’d all been wearing, they shattered to pieces as he pushed inside me.

It wasn’t just his cock, though I felt that plenty. I was a little tender, a little oversensitive, the pleasure that came from his thrusts having an edge to it. There was more though. His eyes held mine, going from dark gold to a deep honey colour, soft, hot, viscous. I felt caught in their sticky web and not just one of physical pleasure but something far deeper.

No one had ever looked at me like this when fucking me. No, that wasn’t what this was. I’d been able to persuade myself otherwise when they were tormenting me with spikes of arousal that kept rising and rising, that were never resolved, but now? Now I felt the hum of satisfied pleasure washing through me, along with the promise of more, I couldn’t escape it. Couldn’t escape him.

That constant regard, that unending stare, it caught the moment when my lips parted, ready to say something, anything, to ward this off, but I couldn’t. Because he moved inside me, his cock in my cunt, but more than that. So much more than that. No strings attached was more work than I’d expected and right now was the moment I put that burden down, something he marked with a nod.

I wanted to be free and now was the moment I truly was. The cage I’d locked around my heart to protect it from more pain clicked open and allowed in… Him. Hawk. By his own words, this was his first time having sex, but somehow, he was showing me the way. Moving slowly, rocking me with his long strokes, taking more than just my body with him each time he pulled back as well as my heart.

“Hawk…?”

I grabbed at his arms, as if to stop him or pull him right down on top of me, smothering me against the bed, pressing the feelings back into my chest where they belonged, but he just shook his head.

“Stay with me, Maddie.”

“What?”

I searched his face, sure whatever magic a mate bond was, it didn’t include reading my mind, or my heart.

“Stay with me.”

I wanted to ask what he meant by that, demand what he fucking meant, but that’s when he pressed deeper, changing his angle until I saw stars. Bright sparks of pleasure, like fireworks, they burst inside me. They lit me up, and also burned away everything. Doubts, worries, my very calm assertions that I wasn’t ready, wasn’t ready for exactly this: for a man to stare down at me like I was the sun and the moon, his entire world. My realisation had him nodding again. But if I was the constellations, the galaxies, then he was the sky, roiling with grey clouds, and when he dared to smile, I saw them break to allow the sun through.

“Just like that, baby. Just like I dreamed. I saw you in my head whenever I fell asleep, burned on my retina when I woke up again, but it was nothing compared to this.” He dropped his head down, his panting breaths washing over my skin. “Compared to you.”

Our kisses were shuddering, furtive things, snatched in between the pulses of our bodies. They sucked up the space between rapid heartbeats, spurred them to thud faster. Some tide seemed to swell between us, one that contained all the pleasure I could feel, but more than that. So much fucking more.

Hawk was making love to me.

The reality was like a slap to the face and I couldn’t help but feel a sense of betrayal, even as it made perfect sense. He’d waited for me… My mind grabbed at that fact, clasping it to my chest like a shiny stone or a pretty feather. He’d never allowed another woman to touch what was mine. My hands moved on automatic then, sliding over his massive shoulders, the fingertips tracing the shapes of his tattoos, giving him all of the touches he’d denied himself, as I gave him…

Me.

Right here, right now, I couldn’t pretend to be anything else but open to him, to them, to this possibility, because much to my surprise, when I allowed my heart to fly free, it knew exactly where to go. To him, to them, Crash, no, Cayden—settling beside me. Where I was always supposed to be.

Because it’d never felt this right with any other man and wasn’t that terrifying?

My nails dug into Hawk’s flesh, my grip on his biceps tightening, as if I’d push him off, but a bear would not be thrown off a scent once he had it in his nose. Hawk’s hips moved faster, his cock stabbing deeper, harder, each brutal stroke sending full body ripples of pleasure through me. I’d thought they’d try to talk me around, force me to open myself up to the idea of a relationship, but instead… They just waited.

There were tears in my eyes as Cayden smoothed my hair back from my face, something the both of them noted but didn’t do anything to stop. He just brushed one away when it fell free. Hawk darted forward to kiss away the other, though it didn’t stop them from coming. If anything, their tenderness just made it impossible to hold any of it back. I was fucking horrified, crying in front of a man the first time he had sex, but that just made them come harder, faster. The bittersweet knife twist of sorrow, twining with the overwhelming physical pleasure, it cut me deeper and deeper until I was laid bare.

“Just like that, Maddie. Just like that.” Hawk coaxed me through the whole process, but I caught the shake in his own voice echoed in the fine tremor in his arms. “Stay right with me. I’ve got you, love.”

He dropped down on one elbow, his hand stroking through my hair, brushing tears away, right as my whole body went rigid. I sobbed out my pleasure, orgasm breaking like the dawn, slowly, ever so slowly, illuminating everything inside me, forcing me to feel every tiny little thing.

The pulse of his cock as he erupted inside me, the little rasps of his breath, the way his claws shredded the cotton of the sheets. And then this. Cayden’s hand shooting out, catching his brother by the neck, his own claws digging in, threatening to tear Hawk’s throat out as the other man’s fangs were bared.

“I know what you want, brother, but this ain’t the time. Not fucking now, Hawk.” As Cayden’s voice shook with the effort of holding his brother back, I caught the moment when the deadly gold of Hawk’s eyes faded back to a dark amber. The bear receded, just leaving the man.

One who scooped me up in his arms, who held me so damn tight my bones creaked. Who stroked my hair, pressed his lips to my neck, not his fangs. But I felt the ghost of them there, the promise of them and rather than pull away, I threw my arms around him and held him back just as tight.

Cayden wasn’t to be left out, settling in beside me and raining kisses down the line of my shoulders.

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