Page 18 of Cross To Bear

“He didn’t.” Mum was so definite about that, though she turned to Jesse then for confirmation. “You didn’t, did you?”

My brother didn’t try to make excuses, which was his only saving grace right now. He just stared the lot of us down and then guzzled the rest of his beer before leaving the can on the counter.

“I’m going for a smoke,” he told us, pushing past me before going outside by the pool. I watched him hunch over the edge of a lounger to light a joint, like I was watching a stranger.

“He’s saying he knew?” Taz appeared at my shoulder. He frowned and then shook his head. “How long?”

“How long have you known about this?” Mum demanded, looking back at the rest of my dads. “All of you?”

“Since the first time Maddie walked in the door,” I told her because they wouldn’t. “I spoke to the dads, asked them what to do about it and—”

“We talked about this.” Knackers said, stepping forward and crossing his arms. “The woman always chooses. We’ve said that to you more than once, and—”

“You never gave Maddie a chance to.” Pain was leaching into my voice and I couldn’t keep it back, not anymore. The situation had sucked fucking arse, but I’d been able to keep a lid on things until now. “She never got to decide whether or not to choose us.”

I saw Maddie then, her eyes wide, pain radiating out of her every pore as she just stared at the lot of us.

“In a way, she did,” Taz said. “The relationship developed with Jesse, and they fell in love. You were there, in her life, and she didn’t find herself inextricably drawn to the lot of you, just him. I’m sorry, Son, but—”

“No.” I couldn’t be in this fucking house with this shit, I just couldn’t. “You told me to keep quiet, that we needed to let things unfold as they were supposed to. You said Jesse had no clue.” My whole face screwed up tight then. “That this would hurt him. She was the first girl to really stick around and…”

Mum, my dads, they all had more to say, though I didn’t want to hear it, and when I walked down the hallway, my sleuth was at my back. They were always the family I actually needed. Not the one I was born into, but the one I made myself.

“So what do you wanna do?” Hawk asked once we were clear of the house. “Go back around to Maddie’s and explain?”

Yes, that, I wanted to say.

“Not right now.” I wrapped my hand around the car door handle, hearing the metal groan under my grip. “Maddie’s been clear about what she wants, and we need to respect that.” I nodded slowly. “We’ll give her some space and then…”

I didn’t know what. It’d been so long since I allowed myself to seriously think about what it’d be like if Maddie decided she didn’t want to be with my brother, I had no idea how to go forward.

“So then let’s head to the bar and sink some fucking beers,” Razor said.

“Nothing ever gets fixed by getting drunk,” Hawk grumbled.

“Well, brother, I’m not sure if it can get any worse.” Crash squeezed Hawk’s shoulder as we all moved as one, piling into the truck.

Chapter 12

Hawk

I wanted to say no when the others decided to head to the bar. I wanted to reach over and grab the fucking steering wheel, dragging us right back to where we needed to go. If Maddie didn’t want to see us right now, she wouldn’t. I’d stake her place out like a freaking undercover cop. Make sure she was OK, listen to the wind for any sign she was struggling…

And quietly knock that little cunt, Jesse, unconscious if he thought about coming around again.

The nature of what he had done punched me fair in the guts. I knew he was a little prick, one we were forced to carry at work, but this… He wasn’t even some human dude who had no fucking clue about the treasure he had lying beside him every night. Jesse came from our community and he knew exactly what this meant.

One woman, that’s who Maddie was to us. The one woman who would claim our hearts. And for me it was my body and my soul, because I…

“Hey, Hawk…”

I’d just settled against the bar as the others ordered our beers as she came to stand beside me, far too close for my comfort. I looked down at the diminutive woman and she smiled instantly in a way that had half the bar panting after her. Just not me.

“Hey, Krystel.”

I didn’t even spare her a second glance when Razor handed me a beer. I twisted the top of the bottle off, leaving the cap to rattle on the bar before drinking down a long mouthful. I didn’t like the bar where we were part owners. I didn’t like being in a place full of pissed people, everyone shouting, laughing way too loud. I didn’t even like beer, but got teased mercilessly when I drank something much sweeter. Real men drank beer, apparently. And I especially didn’t like it when a woman put her hands on me. I stared down at Krystel’s long acrylic nails, my eyes doing their best to burn a warning into her skin.

I was not hers.

---