Page 59 of First Flight, Final Fall

I grin. “Harsh. Come on, it’s our last night. You’ve got something better to do?”

“Nope.” Alexis takes a sip of her own beer. “Kind of surprised you’re here, though.”

She’s studying me closely.

“I came here for Scholenberg. Where else would I be?”

“With Adler Beck?”

I scoff, mostly to cover the fact that the sound of his name stings like salt getting sprinkled on a raw wound. I figured me not overhearing the conversations didn’t mean they weren’t taking place. Between the scene at the club and him picking me up for the camp, I knew the other girls were discussing me and Beck behind my back.

“Things aren’t like that between us,” I reply.

“They aren’t?”

“No.” I drink more beer, hoping she’ll drop it.

She doesn’t. “You’re done?”

I nod.

“Do you want to be?”

I stopped dancing for a cold drink and somehow stumbled into a therapy session. “Yes. No. I don’t know.” I pause. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it matters.”

“I don’t—it was just supposed to be sex. I’ve never…cared. I shouldn’t have let it happen.”

“I don’t think we get to choose who we fall in love with,” Alexis says softly.

I flinch like she slapped me. “I didn’t say anything about love.”

She raises one eyebrow. “So…your plan is to never see him again?”

“I mean, I assume he’ll be at the next summer Olympics.”

Alexis snorts. “Right.”

“Scott! Get your ass out here!” Ellie shouts.

“Be right there,” I call back. “It’s best this way,” I tell Alexis, draining the rest of my beer.

I stand and return to the makeshift dance floor, losing myself in the music’s beat.

A few hours later, the night ends with a speech from Coach Weber. I miss most of it, only registering the finality to her tone.

I was eager to come here. I thought I’d be as eager to leave. Senior year, my final soccer season, seeing my friends. Returning home. All things I should be looking forward to. It shouldn’t feel like I’m leaving some piece of myself behind.

The beer garden’s staff is happy to see us go. Not only are we a boisterous group, but Scholenberg rented out the whole place. Our exit means they can shut down for the night.

Ellie’s concocting a plan to head to Submarine for some more dancing when we emerge out onto the street.

“I’m going to head back to the house,” I tell her. “I’m exhausted and I’ve got an early flight.”

“Fine,” Ellie agrees with a disappointed sigh. “We can drop you off on the way.”

“It’s fine. I want to walk,” I reply. “One last look at the city, you know?”

---