Page 10 of Love You Still

“It sounds like you’re speaking from experience,” I retort as I run my hands through my hair.

“Maybe the exact opposite.” She scoffs, pulling her hair up into a messy bun on the top of her head. “Instead of telling me he wanted to spread his wings while at college, he cheated on me. I found out last weekend when I went to surprise him.”

“Ouch.” I grimace, trying to imagine who would do something like that to someone they claimed to care about.

“Yeah. Wasn’t fun, let me tell you, but deep down, I knew there was something wrong.” She shakes her head beforeshifting toward me. “The moral of the story is, don’t be afraid to tell someone you love how you feel. That way you don’t spend the rest of your life wondering what if.”

She raises on her tiptoes, planting a soft kiss on my cheek before pulling me in for a hug.

I stand there stiffly, my entire body rigid before I relax. I wrap my arms around her waist and hug her back, letting everything else melt away but the feel of her arms wrapped around me. After everything that has happened over the last twenty-four hours, I don’t want to live with any more regrets. It’s time that I tell Selina Grymes the truth. That the only thing in life I need is her.

Chapter 5

Selina

She’s gone. Never coming back. One of the few people in this world that knows all my secrets. I just talked to Lydia on the phone a few days ago. She was bursting with excitement about her and Connor’s little one on the way. I had begged her for the millionth time to find out the sex of their baby, but she refused. She claimed it was one of the very few surprises we were given during our lives, and she was determined to keep this one.

When my mom called to tell me the news, I was running late to class. I tried to rush her off the phone, claiming to be too busy to stop and talk to her, but there was something in her tone of voice that made me pause and listen to what she was saying. My world came to a screeching halt. My best friend, partner in crime, and hetero life mate, Lydia, had died giving birth to a beautiful little girl.

In that moment, I wanted to rage against the world and demand to know what went wrong and who was to blame for this tragedy, but the only thing I could do was stand there, frozen in place, as a few people stared at me, wondering what had happened. Everything else around me faded into the background. The voices of the people around me asking me if Iwas okay became nothing but background noise as my mom told me she’d purchased me a plane ticket to leave in the next few hours.

I didn’t stop to tell my teacher that I had an emergency and had to go home. I didn’t think about what disappearing in the middle of the semester was going to do to my scholarship. The only thing that mattered to me was getting home and being there for Connor and Lydia’s family and holding the only piece of Lydia I had left.

Everything after that conversation with my mom was a blur. I went back to my small dorm room I shared with a girl I barely knew and shoved some things into a bag before rushing off to the airport. Now, here I am, sitting in the back of my parents’ car, wanting the only person I know who can take the pain away.

“Where is Vance?” I question, wrapping my arms tightly around my middle, trying to hold myself together. “Didn’t he want to come with you to pick me up?”

I know I sound selfish right now, asking for him to be here. We’ve barely talked since the night of our graduation, but that’s my fault. It took a few months, but I came to regret leaving Tyson’s Creek early. I put on a brave face for my friends and my parents, telling them how amazing things were in New York, but I felt utterly alone. I had a few acquaintances, girls I took classes with over the summer, and my roommate, but we really had nothing in common besides dancing. We took classes, ate together sometimes, went to sleep, and then started the process over again. I missed having lazy days where I could read a book or go to the movies with my friends. Dance was beginning to feel like a job instead of something I enjoyed doing.

Every time I got a call from home, my heart yearned to be home with them, going to bonfires and just being with them like it had always been. Every time I tried to tell any of them how I was feeling, I clammed up. Mixed into their stories about whatwas happening in town, they were also telling me how proud they were of what I had accomplished and how they couldn’t wait to see me dance across the big stage like I’d always dreamed of.

Speaking to any of them became almost painful. Our almost daily phone calls turned to weekly, then monthly, and then quickly trickled down to a random text asking how each other was doing or sending a funny meme. But Vance never stopped reaching out to me. He’d call and leave me encouraging messages or just tell me how much he loved me. At first, I’d listen to each message, letting his words wrap around me like armor before starting another day, but soon, even that became too much. Every time I heard his voice, I wanted to come home. I wanted to feel his arms wrapped tightly around me, telling me that everything was going to be okay. I wanted to be there with him and all our friends, but at the same time, I didn’t want to disappoint them either.

“He’s staying with Connor,” my mom whispers, reaching her hand between the seats and gripping mine.

“Makes sense.” I squeeze her hand back, forcing myself to smile slightly. “Connor needs him right now.”

“You should call him and let him know you came home.”

“Yeah,” I mutter, reaching into my back pocket and pulling out my cell phone. My finger swipes across the screen, bringing it to life, but there isn’t one missed notification, text message, or call. Not that I’m surprised. There are only a few people that even have my phone number, not that any of them use it. The only people who call me are a little preoccupied right now. “I’ll just see him when we get there.”

Just as I’m shoving it back into my pocket, we pull up in front of Connor’s parents’ house. Tears immediately pool in my eyes as I look at the familiar sight, remembering all the time the fourof us spent here, making plans for the future. A future that won’t be coming for one of us.

“You don’t have to do this right now, baby.” My dad’s deep baritone echoes around the interior of the car. “You just got home. No one will fault you for wanting to get some rest and process what happened. We can come back in the morning.”

“No.” My voice cracks slightly, but I continue. “I need to do this.”

Neither of my parents say a word as I open the door and climb out, going right to the front door. I don’t even knock before the door swings open, and a familiar body comes crashing into mine.

“I’m so—” Leia whimpers, but I cut her off.

“I know,” I croak, wrapping my arms tightly around her tiny waist and laying my cheek on the top of her head. Leia isn’t short. I’m just taller than most people my age. The end of her long blonde hair tickles my forearms as I tighten my arms around her waist, letting the pain and sadness over the loss of my best friend overtake me for the first time since I heard the news.

“I didn’t think you’d get here so quickly,” she states as she pulls away from me, her wire glasses foggy from our tears.

Lydia was my person, but Leia Armstrong was always a good friend to both of us. We never intentionally left her out of things or tried to make her feel unwelcome, but I’m sure she felt that way at some point since we met during our freshman year of high school. Leia’s parents own the small farm and inn in the hills surrounding town. I can remember all the nights we spent there, looking at the stars and wishing to grow up as quickly as possible. If I could go back in time, I’d tell my younger self to cherish those moments, because they’d be gone before you know it.

“My mom arranged everything before she called.” I sniffle, swiping at the tears on my cheek. “How is everyone?”

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