Page 50 of Runaway Queen

“Why are you here? You’re going to bury me without the box this time?”

“Don’t give me ideas. I came to have dinner with you.”

She froze. I’d surprised her, clearly.

“What dinner?”

“Don’t worry, I brought it.”

“I’ve eaten,” she snapped at me, and her entire body shuddered as I slid just my fingertip inside her.

Christ, she was as tight as ever. Had she really not let anyone else be inside her while I was gone? I didn’t know what to make of that. It made me feel things I wasn’t ready for.

“Liar. Let’s go. I’m hungry.” I pulled my fingers from her with effort and slapped her ass before leaving her to get dressed. “Don’t bother with panties, unless you want them ripped.”

* * *

In the kitchen,I opened up the takeout boxes and waited for her. She came downstairs cautiously, poised to run. I took in her clothes. A sweater dress in a relentless black.

“What’s with the outfit? Going to a funeral?”

“I’m in mourning for my life,” she muttered and dropped into the chair besides me.

“Are you really not going to eat?”

Her eyes fixed on the pad thai longingly. I pushed the carton toward her.

“Keep your strength up. You’re going to need it.”

She scowled at me but reached for the chopsticks in the bag. We ate in silence for a moment.

“People miss a lot of things in jail. For me, it was real food… and you.”

She stilled, her eyes darting to mine. I ate steadily. It was fun to shock her with glimpses of who I used to be. It wasn’t a lie either. The parts of me that had remained human, in any way at all, were all her.

“What was the food like?” Her voice was quiet.

“You can’t even imagine. It’s food you wouldn’t feed animals. That’s all they are, really, locked inside little cages, clawing and biting at each other, waiting for their chance to be free so they can burn the world.”

“And you?”

I nodded. “Me, too.”

She swallowed, her throat convulsing. It was beautiful.

I pushed my plate away as soon as I’d finished. The entire meal had taken five minutes. Another legacy of prison.

I tapped the table in front of me. “Sit. I want my dessert.”

“Nikolai,” she started and then trailed off when I touched her lips.

“Tell me the truth and make me believe it. There’ll be no mercy for you until you do. Sit here in front of me right now, I want to eat your lying cunt.”

“I told you last night-” she started, trailing off when I shook my head.

“I want to hear why you tried to leave me behind. I want to hear why you believed in your father more than me.” She had never loved me like I’d loved her. It was the only truth I could accept, as my damaged, fucked up heart already believed it so firmly, anything else would sound like a lie. I needed to hear that dark and most painful truth. I wanted to hear her say it. “Now, sit.”

Her breath stalling, she stood and gracefully sat on top of the table. Her knees stayed together.

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