Page 43 of Runaway Queen

“You’re absolutely mad. How did they ever let you out? Does your brother know how unhinged you are? You’re a menace to society,” I spit at him, a rapid torrent of anger and fear escaping me with my first free breath.

He simply chuckled. “And yet you only pretended to turn me in yesterday, didn’t you? I suppose a saner man would just kill you, and Angelo and Chiara, and be done with it. In my world, a betrayal like yours demands an answer. What answer would you like?”

Something inside me snapped. I couldn’t keep quiet while he leveled that kind of charge at me, when losing him had cost me everything.

“I didn’t betray you. I didn’t want to,” I started and stilled quickly. Nikolai had pressed a gloved finger against my lips, shushing me.

“Wait, I’ve heard this one before. Let me guess? Did Daddy threaten you if you didn’t pretend to be dead? Or wait, maybe he threatened me in prison… am I warm?”

I didn’t know what to say to that. The truth was a lot more damning. I’d lied to protect Leo. I didn’t know how Nikolai would react to knowing he had a son, and I’d hidden him.

Those freaky X eyes stared into my soul. “Did he threaten me, and you thought it would be safer to play dead than anger daddy dearest?”

He wasn’t completely wrong. He just didn’t know about Leo. I couldn’t tell him. He was too frightening right now. Still, I could be honest about one thing.

“Was it a crime to not want you to die? Was it a betrayal to care that you lived, even without me?”

Nikolai was still. Tension rose between us. I wanted to see his eyes. I reached for his mask, and he tutted, shaking his head. He wasn’t holding my arms, his hands were just braced on either side of the desk behind us, bending me back, making me arch my spine into him. His hips had pinned me in place, and I could feel the weight of him against my center.

I shivered. I could feel his belt buckle and something else. Was he hard? The thought-twisted as it was right now, considering how he’d just chased me through the school-made me feel hot all over. It had been so long, and the only touch I’d ever known was this man’s. My body was trained to respond to the smell of him.

“The crime, Sofia, was believing in your father’s empty threats, over me. You chose him and let him dictate both our lives. You didn’t choose me. You didn’t believe in me. That’s your betrayal,lastochka.”

“He meant it—”

“I don’t care!”

Nikolai’s sudden roar stole my voice. I’d never heard him so angry. It wasn’t just anger. It was hurt and that was much, much worse. That piece of me that had been breaking since he’d found me cracked again. It was my resolve to hold out against him. His threats couldn’t break it. His terrifying games couldn’t dent it. But his vulnerability? His hurt, shown so plainly? That nearly made me lose my head completely.

He leaned his forehead against mine. The mask felt hard and wrong. I wanted to feel the heat of his skin.

“I don’t care what excuses you let yourself believe to assuage your conscience. The truth is that once your little cage was blown open… you couldn’t wait to leave me behind. Say it.”

I shook my head, sudden tears building behind my eyes. He really thought that? It was heartbreaking. In his eyes, I was a real villain.

“You’re wrong.”

“You never cared about me, you just pretended to… you were playing the long game, and I was the fool who never even suspected it. Isn’t that the truth?”

I shook my head. “No.”

He wasn’t listening. “I lost everything when I found out you were gone. Since that moment, I’ve not known a moment of peace…” He shuddered slightly and pulled back. “And now, neither will you. It’s only fair.”

He stepped back, the moment of quiet between us slipping away. He looked down at my knife, clutched uselessly in my hand. It was the hand with my tattoo. My bird in the cage. He seemed to still and then slowly reached for it, holding my wrist for his inspection. In all our tussles so far, between darkness, long sleeves, and his distracted mind, he hadn’t noticed it until now.

He rubbed a finger across it, back and forth, his masked head tilting slightly to the side as he considered it. All the things we hadn’t said to each other seemed to build at that second, and I wanted to confess it all in a long rush. About Antonio, and Leo, and how I’d missed him. About the guilt I felt, and how seeing him again felt right in a way I had given up hoping for, even if he was scaring me. I deserved his punishment. Maybe it could heal the pain and guilt of hiding Leo for so long. Maybe it was the only thing that could. Before I could speak and spill my guts to him, he shook his head, a subtle shake, like he was pushing away the soft, vulnerable moment that seeing the tattoo etched on my wrist had triggered.

“Enough sharing circle time. New game. Tag. I’m it. If you get caught, you get fucked.” He stepped back, giving me space to move around him.

Fear and heat shot through me, making my blood pound even harder than before.

“If catch you, I won’t be gentle. I’ve been in jail for seven years,lastochka. I’ve forgotten everything I ever knew about being gentle.” He jerked his head toward the door. “Run fast, unless you want that.”

I still couldn’t move. Words I didn’t know how to say crowded my head, until Nikolai lunged toward me.

“Go!”

Finally, my brain snapped back to reality, and I listened.

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