Page 15 of Runaway Queen

Personally, I wasn’t a match, and neither were Chiara or Angelo. As Leo’s renal failure had progressed, a rare genetic defect that hadn’t become apparent until he was four years old, I’d considered the only other person who could be tested.

His father.

Of course, testing his father involved a lot of obstacles that I had no idea how to overcome. First of all, it would risk all our lives. Still, despite the danger and the pain of reaching out to Nikolai, I had been considering it. Maybe his brother, Kirill, and his brutal bratva could protect us, until Nikolai got out of prison? The thoughts had plagued me, keeping me up at night, rehashing the past again and again. The very real factor that I had no idea how to predict, was how Nikolai would react to knowing it had all been a lie, and not only that, but I’d hidden his son from him, too. It was unforgivable, and yet, there had been no choice. Protecting Leo meant accepting his father’s hate, if he should ever find out. The paradox hurt my heart, every single day since I’d run from Casa Nera.

Now, though, there was a donor on the horizon. It changed everything. If this worked out, there was no reason to endanger Nikolai, Leo, and myself, by telling the truth to the one man I’d ever loved.

I could continue my quiet half-life, dreaming of a man who had once tried to burn the world down to save me, and he’d never know I was alive. We would all live, free of my father’s threats.

I could leave all of it in the past, now that there was a donor.

I should be relieved. I should just be grateful. There shouldn’t be any part of me that dreamed of finding Nikolai, dropping to my knees in front of him and confessing my sins, every single one, and taking any punishment he gave me.

It was too dangerous. It was selfish.

I should let go of the past, as no doubt, he already had.

I would try to do it.

Any day now… or maybe tomorrow.

One day, for sure.

* * *

7 years earlier

“Don’t touch me,”I snarled at my father’s goon, who had dragged me through the house and dropped me in his office like I was a bag of rocks.

“Basta!” Ren shouted, his face contorting. He’d only been back from Italy a few days, when all the shit withZioFranco had gone down. I’d been right. Franco and Silvio had been planning a coup, but their plans had gone to hell when Ren got home, Silvio died, and the police had descended on the house.

Now, it was a few weeks later, and my father, making miraculous progress, was still cleaning his brother’s blood from under his fingernails as he stared at down at me with disgust. His influence had swept away all the problems with that bloody day, the last time I’d seen Nikolai. Except for Silvio’s murder. My father had no intention of getting Nikolai out of jail. He wanted him to rot in there.

I’d been more of a prisoner in Casa Nera than ever before. I had no phone I could access, no laptop. I wasn’t allowed to see anyone, and Antonio was angry that I wouldn’t answer questions about Angelo and Chiara.

Worst of all, my condition had become obvious. I was the kind of person who was going to suffer from morning sickness, clearly, as I’d been throwing up nonstop for weeks, so long the doctor was called. I’d had no choice but to endure his tests.

Pregnant.

I was pregnant with Nikolai’s baby. Despite taking my contraceptive religiously, except for those three days on the run. It seemed that was enough to do it. I still hadn’t gotten over the shock of it.

“So, Sofia. What do you have to say for yourself?” My father’s voice was silky with threat.

I pulled myself into a chair and glanced at Ren. He was standing beside me, his hands curled into fists.

“Did he force you?” Antonio continued.

I shook my head.

“Are you sure?” My father pressed.

“He didn’t force me,” I mumbled, with as much dignity as I could manage. My face was flaming with embarrassment, and I wished the ground would swallow me up. Discussing my sex life with my father and brother wasn’t something I’d ever wanted to do.

I felt Ren’s hand land on my shoulder, reassuring me. He was there, at my back. I wasn’t alone.

“You stupid whore. Even after I tried to teach you to be respectable, you run off at the first chance and fuck our enemy,” Antonio sneered at me.

His word bounced off of me. I didn’t care what he thought. He didn’t know anything, least of all what love was.

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