Page 38 of See Me After Class

"I swear to fulfill, to the best of my ability and judgment, this covenant,

I will respect the hard-won scientific gains of those physicians in whose steps I walk, and gladly share such knowledge as is mine with those who are to follow."

John's deep, sonorous tones rolled through the room. His voice reminded me of the thunder last night, unrestrained and terrifying when at full force.

"I will apply, for the benefit of the sick, all measures that are required, avoiding those twin traps of overtreatment and therapeutic nihilism.

"I will remember that there is art to medicine as well as science, and that warmth, sympathy, and understanding may outweigh the surgeon's knife or the chemist's drug."

The chemist's drug,I thought with a twinge of bitterness. Morphine in a cup of coffee, one of the traditional drugs for euthanasia for the elderly. Among other things. Oswald's silent killer must have known that.

"I will not be ashamed to say "I know not", nor will I fail to call in my colleagues when the skills of another are needed for a patient's recovery."

I know not,I echoed in my mind.I know not, and there is nobody else to ask. The patient has gone beyond recovery.There was only the postmortem analysis to worry about. The cause of death was still officially undetermined.

I frowned. I shouldn't be salivating over John's deep, sexy voice when I should be thinking about Oswald's death instead. Nor should I have let Leon take control of my body so easily.

I remembered reading about the aftereffects of funerals during the pandemic. It was incredibly common for people who were grieving a personal loss to resort to frenetic sexual activity. It had something to do with feeling alive.

For myself, I suspected it had more to do with being able to forget grief. Since the day I heard that Oswald had been found dead, I began to live with the weight of his loss upon my shoulders. There was not a moment in the day when I was able to forget he was gone.

Well. Not a moment, except for those I spent with Leon and John.Should I worry that there's something wrong with me?It wasn't exactly normal to experience such intense attraction to two different men within the same couple of days, was it?

It wasn't something I could afford to ignore. There was a distinct threat in John's voice when he told me to see him after class, but also, a delicious promise.

You're losing it, Dessie.

John continued with his breakdown of the Hippocratic oath and what it meant in the modern day, especially in terms oflarge hospitals with legal liability that superseded the moral inclinations of private physicians. It wasn't a subject that had ever drawn me before. Children were usually simpler to deal with, and institutions overall tended to be kinder to the underaged.

But listening to John now, I understood that when he said the wordoath, he meant it in the old-fashioned sense. Not a legal contract with multiple, painfully elaborate clauses, but a strong and simple code of honor.

I wondered about him. If he killed Oswald, he was probably convinced there was a good reason for it. Speculating on what that reason might be turned my mouth bitter, but it at least took my mind off the upcoming and sincerely dreaded meeting with him.

I checked my watch and waited for the class to end. It was over far too soon, but John was surrounded by a crowd of appreciative junior staff, many of whom had further questions, so I was able to slip by and evade his notice.

I was going to go lurk unobtrusively outside his office, except for the fact that I was waylaid by Chelsea at the last second.

"Hey, what do you have next?" she chirped, unfailingly bright and upbeat. "I have to go do my lab reports, but do you want to meet up for lunch? We can sit together if you want."

"That sounds amazing," I said with an effort, though I meant it. She was the first genuinely friendly person I had met here, and if I survived the after class talk with John, she was the only person I wanted to hang out with.

"Cool! See you then." She beamed and hurried away upstairs. I moped dejectedly in the opposite direction, trying to suppress the awful sinking feeling in my stomach.

"Desdemona."Oh, shit."Where do you think you're going?"

I turned warily. "Sir? I thought you wanted me to?—"

"My office. Now," said John curtly, barely looking my way. I followed him through a pair of swinging doors into a part of the house completely unknown to me. The place was like a jigsaw puzzle put together by a blind madman.

Why didn't I ever look at the floor plan of the institute, level by level, and then memorize it?I chided myself. At least I wouldn't have embarrassed myself with senior staff twice in one day.

Though the way I'd embarrassed myself with the senior most member of staff just last night didn't bear thinking about, either. It was probably too late to worry about these things.

John shouldered open the door of his office and strode in. I hovered hesitantly by the door.

"Take a seat," he said brusquely. I crossed the same floor where I had surrendered last night with a feeling of tremendous regret.

What a stupid thing to do. I knew it now as I knew it then. The bright sunlight streaming in through the tall windows this morning lit up the desk, illuminating every detail. I could remember exactly what it felt like on bare skin.

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