Page 62 of The Secret Beach

She stared at Nikki again. Did she know something? Nikki felt the blood rush to her cheeks.

‘I feel lots of things. Every day. But it was nothing to do with us. That storm would always have happened. Dad and Rik would always have gone out to rescue that boat. That’s who they were. There’s no point in torturing yourself thinking you could have changed things.’ Nikki knew that well enough. How many times had she said to herself if only …

‘I know,’ said Jess. ‘But I didn’t make him happy. Not because I was horrible. But because I wasn’t …’

She seemed to be swallowing her words, to have thought better of what she was about to say.

‘Wasn’t what?’

Jess didn’t answer the question. Instead, she grabbed Nikki’s arm.

‘We’re supposed to be going for a skinny dip. Not wallowing in the past.’

As quickly as she had plummeted, Jess seemed to have snapped out of her melancholy and raced down the steps. Nikki followed and they leapt onto the beach at the bottom, scrambled out of their pyjamas, threw them on top of their towels, then pelted stark naked into the sea.

‘Oh my God!’ screamed Jess. ‘It’s bloody freezing!’

‘Of course it is!’ laughed Nikki, and dived under the water. Jess, to her credit, followed suit and the two of them swam into the oncoming waves, pulling themselves through with the strong strokes they’d been taught by their father when they were tiny. When they got to the calmer water behind the surf, they lay on their backs, gently sculling their arms.

‘You’re right,’ said Jess. ‘This is doing the trick. I’m so bloody cold I can’t feel any emotion.’

Nikki was treading water. She felt deliciously weightless, almost graceful, relishing the tingling chill on her skin. She looked back towards the beach and saw a figure coming down the steps.

‘Oh no.’ It was Adam. Climbing behind Gatsby. Out on his early morning walk. ‘There’s my neighbour,’ she told Jess. ‘We’ll have to wait till he’s gone.’

‘Well, I need to head in. I’ve got to be back at the hospital at nine.’

‘We can’t!’

‘Why not?’ Jess’s eyes lit up with defiance and she started to swim breaststroke back towards the shore. Nikki followed, protesting.

‘You can flash him if you want but I’m not. I’ve got to live next door to him.’

‘Like he’s never seen a naked woman before? What’s he gonna do?’

‘I’m going to wait. I just can’t.’

They were back in their depth. Adam spotted them and raised a hand. Jess stood up, her torso clear of the water, her boobs proudly on display as she began to stride towards the shore. Nikki kept herself under the water and tried to stop herself laughing as Adam realised Jess was topless. Gallantly he turned away before she revealed her entire body. Undaunted, Jess carried on until she reached the sand. Nikki secretly admired her sister for her boldness as she glided over to their towels, catwalk confident, her hair streaming down her back as Gatsby raced up to her in delight and Adam tried whistling to get him back.

Poor Adam, she thought. He was probably mortified at having interrupted them. She’d have to apologise to him later. Or should she? Was Jess right? Did it matter?

Jess nonchalantly draped her towel around her then grabbed Nikki’s and headed back into the water to give it to her so she could cover herself and make a more discreet exit.

‘You’re a nutter,’ said Nikki.

‘Isn’t that why you love me?’

Yes, thought Nikki. It absolutely was. And that was why she felt unnerved, because she didn’t want to lose her sister. Her crazy, brave, impossible sister. She just had to pray that whoever had sent her the cards wasn’t intent on driving a wedge between them.

32

Zak Glazier lived in an ancient farmhouse along the coast. To get to it, you had to drive down a tiny, twisting road amidst ancient woodland. Nikki drove carefully, for it was tortuous and treacherous, with a terrifying drop to one side: a steep cliff leading to jagged rocks and crystal-blue water that looked heavenly but was deadly, the site of many a shipwreck. It was a magical spot. The locals had watched with interest as Zak restored the house with surprising sympathy. His obsession, according to rumour, was renovating the old walled garden and growing his own organic vegetables, which seemed like a very un-rockstar preoccupation.

‘Your mum and I used to come out here,’ she told Juno. ‘Some old hippies owned it and they used to have parties every weekend. Anyone could rock up. They went on all night and everyone watched the sun come up.’

Nikki remembered being in the back of someone’s car, terrified as they drove at speed, Jess laughing in the front and turning up the music. How they survived she didn’t know. They were all young and reckless, with the insouciance of youth.

‘Sounds wild.’ Juno was nervous, but pretending not to be. She was heading out to meet Zak for the first time. Nikki had offered to drive her as Jess was at work. There was no way Juno could get to his house otherwise. There was no public transport anywhere near his house, especially not on a Sunday.