Page 67 of Love You Anyway

I kiss her temple and let myself imagine for a moment that she and I could be permanent. It’s just a momentary fantasy. No harm in that. Then I pop the locks and walk around to the passenger side to open PJ’s door.

She sways against me in the elevator as though she’s still hearing Taylor’s music in her head. When we reach the top floor and I guide her down the hallway, she casts me a side-eye. “Isn’t the helicopter that way?” She points in the direction where we entered the building this morning.

“I have one more thing to show you before we fly back.” I guide her to the observatory, which is equipped with our largest, most powerful telescopes.

The room has dim lighting to make for better viewing, and when she sees the telescopes, she nods. “Okay, this may be even better than the concert.”

That’s the moment when all my lustful feelings toward her from the past two weeks mushroom into something so much more. Or maybe it’s when I allow myself to acknowledge them. I know how much she loved the concert, but to react the way she does to the idea of stargazing before we’ve even looked at anything seals the deal.

This woman is mine. Even if she doesn’t know it.

“Come.” Taking her hand, I lead her to the gamma-ray telescope and click a remote control that slides the domed roof open for night viewing. “My lab is situated here, on top of the hill, for a reason,” I explain, hoping she recalls the scenery when we landed earlier.

I guide her over to another telescope, this one over ten meters in size, watching her round eyes fill with anticipation. “This one has mirrors that correct for small distortions in the atmosphere, so the images look especially sharp. Let’s start with this one.”

I adjust a few knobs and let her have a look. The scope is pointed at Saturn, visible in the early night sky at this time of year. “Oh wow!”

She backs away, expression agog. “I know. When you first see those rings, it’s pretty unbelievable. But there’s more.”

We spend the next two hours looking through the telescopes, viewing black holes and talking about the behavior of small red stars called dwarfs. It’s been a long time since I’ve been in here with someone who wasn’t a scientist or an investor, and showing her what fascinates me about astrophysics reminds me of how much I love my job.

And viewing the stars with PJ confirms that I love something else—her.

I point the final telescope toward the summer sky constellations and let PJ stargaze for a while. I know the effects of looking skyward and letting my mind dream and wander, but it’s not until I hear a quiet sigh from her that I know she gets it.

She turns to me and encircles my neck with her arms. “Thank you. It’s been a great day.”

“It has.” It’s been a great couple of weeks, which is why I find my brain on overload. Only this time, I’m not thinking about space missions and the quest to reach Mars. I’m thinking about how to keep PJ Corbett in my life for a little bit longer. Or even forever.

Chapter

Twenty-One

PJ

It was no secret in our family that I got special treatment for being the youngest. At a young age, my siblings gave up trying to deny it was true. Beatrix was the favorite, but I was the baby who our dad couldn’t say no to, evidenced by trips for ice cream at Baskin Robbins.

It was usually when our mom was visiting a relative, and our dad would make a big show of “rescuing” us from the team of nannies who took care of us even when our mom was in town. We knew he liked them and relied on them, but when it was his turn to pile us into our family minivan, he rebranded himself as a valiant knight riding in to save us.

We’d tumble out of the van, and our dad would grumble things about us being a ragtag band of misfits unfit for the world outside our house, but we knew that was his way of saying he loved us.

I’d give almost anything to hear him say it now.

“Last week, I only stayed fifteen minutes, and that seemed to exhaust him. This may be a quick trip,” Beatrix says as wewalk the path to the largest building on the vineyard property, a stately white mansion with columns in the front, gardens that wrap around both sides of the house, and potted red geraniums hanging above the second-story porches.

“Coming,” I say, lagging a couple feet behind her in my joggers, gray sweater, and a scarf wound twice around my neck. It’s warm out this morning as usual, but I’m always cold in my dad’s house, so I come prepared with extra layers.

There’s no telling exactly when our dad will be the most lucid, so we sort of hover in a suspended state of readiness. When Dad’s nurse thinks he’ll recognize us, she calls, and we come right away. The only downside is that today it meant skipping my normal latte at Sweet Butter and, therefore, my chance to see Colin.

Thinking about him has me so distracted that I don’t notice I’ve slowed down to a dreamy crawl.

“You okay?” Beatrix snaps me back to reality.

“Yeah. Just worried about how he’ll be today.”

“Only way to know is to go.”

She’s right, but that doesn’t make it any easier. When my dad looks at me, I’m not even sure he recognizes me most of the time. Sometimes he looks downright frightened when I walk into the room, like I’m a stranger who might do him harm.

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