Page 40 of Dr. Baby Daddy

“One of these days I’m going to buy a chastity belt. and then good luck getting into them.” She smirks and cuts her chicken into pieces. “I have to finalize my guest list for opening night so I can get the tickets set aside. Are you still going to come?”

I reach for my drink, stalling for time while I come up with something to tell her that won’t sound horrible.

Though I want to be there for her, I can’t stop thinking about meeting her parents. I don’t know if I’m ready for that anytime soon. I’ve never met the parents of anyone I’m dating.

Things with Izzy are good, but I don’t know where we’re going to be in a couple months. Both of us are only going to get busier with work, and then we have to try to figure out how to make our relationship work.

I’m still waiting for her to get upset with how much I’m working. Sooner or later, it’s going to happen, and it’s going to be the first wedge in the relationship. I know it is. That’s been the same wedge that’s come between me and the few other relationships I’ve had.

Izzy raises an eyebrow, stabbing another piece of her chicken. “Oliver?”

“Sorry.” I put down my water and push the pasta around on my plate. “I was trying to think through my schedule. With the new residents, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to get the time off.”

The look she gives me has my chest constricting. It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell her that I’ll do whatever I can to be there, but I don’t want to make promises that I don’t know if I can keep.

“Well, if you can get the time off, I would love for you to be there.” She takes a long sip of her water. “But I understand that you have a lot going on with work.”

Guilt gnaws at me, knowing it’s just an excuse. I could book the time off work if I wanted to, and I’m sure she knows that too.

It’s better this way. We need a little bit of distance.

That’s what the little voice in my head is telling me, even though I hate being away from her. I don’t want to spend more time apart if we don’t have to, but things feel like they’re spinning out of control again.

I want to save her heart before I break it.

Izzy hums along with the song playing. “I was thinking that it could be nice to take a weekend away sometime soon. Head upstate, maybe. You should come with me.”

I swallow hard and shake my head. “I know I won’t be able to get the time off for that anytime soon. There’s too much going on, and I’m about to start my night rotation for the next month.”

“Okay. I’ll see if Kate wants to go with me, then. She might be looking to get out of the city for a little bit. We can have a girls’ weekend.”

Her tone is off, making me think that it is less than fine that I won’t go with her. I reach out and give her hand a squeeze. She offers me a small smile before pulling away and continuing to eat her food.

I sigh and try to find something to say to her. Even though I need some distance between us, I don’t want to lose her either.

Right now, I have to find a balance between keeping both of us from getting hurt and showing her that I want her.

And I do want her.

I just don’t want to be the reason that she waits up every night, hoping that I’ll be coming home from the hospital when I have to work late. I don’t want to sit beside her and be a shell of a person because I lost another patient at work that day.

I want to be the man she deserves, but it feels like I get further from that person every day.

A life of keeping people at arm’s length is starting to catch up with me in the worst way possible, and there’s nothing I can do about it.

Even when I try to make time for us, things keep getting in the way. I was supposed to be home twice over the last couple days, and each time I’ve had to cancel on her.

Hopefully, tonight things are going to get back to where they were between us.

My pager starts going off when we’re halfway through our food. I sigh as I pull it out of my pocket and check the code. “I’m sorry. I thought that I was going to get the rest of the day off, but there’s a massive trauma coming in and they need all the hands they can get.”

Izzy looks at me, but I don’t think she’s really seeing me. Her gaze is distant as she nods. “No problem. I hope that nothing too serious happens.”

I lean over the table and kiss her quickly, but even that is cold and detached. She smiles at me, though the corners of her eyes don’t crinkle the way they usually do.

This feels like the beginning of the end for us, even if I don’t want it to be.

CHAPTER 18

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