Page 51 of Defeated

This is why last night was a mistake.

I knew even before I kissed her that one night would never be enough. And it isn’t.

This won’t be enough either when already, I’m struggling to envision a day without Zoe in it.

As we move together, I soften the kiss, roll her onto her back and slowly thrust into her, wanting her to crave me the way I’ve started to crave her.

Zoe moans, her fingers and nails clinging to my back as she comes apart. Her body grips mine tight as a fist, her rippling muscles dragging me into my release.

Long minutes later, I settle on the bed beside her, waiting for her to remind me last night was supposed to be one night, and that she wants me to give her space.

To my surprise, she crawls over me and buries her face between my shoulder and neck.

She’s softly snoring seconds later.

Moving slowly so as not to wake her, I wrap one arm around her and drag the sheet up so her back doesn’t get cold, and I kiss the top of her head.

So much for one night, I think to myself with a wry smile.

My smile fades when I remember what her mate called her. A dead fish. There is nothing dead or lifeless about the soft, warm woman in my arms.

And he tied her to a tree? Who would do something like that to their mate?

I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready to let the guilt of what I did to Gracie go. But maybe it’s time Zoe moved on from a mate who doesn’t deserve her and I learn to let go of the pain of what I did.

Zoe sighs and burrows even closer, one hand resting on my heart.

My arms tighten around her.

Somehow, this woman has taken up prime residence in my heart, in a place that no one has for years, and I believed no one ever would.

I told her what I’d done. The pure, unvarnished truth of the fact I’d killed my mate, and she offered to make the toast.

I look down into her face, to remind myself I’m not imagining holding a beautiful woman against my chest. She has her palm on my heart and her breathing is slow and steady, blowing warm air over my throat.

“I don’t think one night is enough,” I murmur. “I don’t think one night comes close enough to how long I want you.”

As she sleeps, I think about how I can ask her to come with me to Winter Lake and how I can convince her to stay.

17

ZOE

Iwake with a smile on my face. Until I notice I’m alone in the bed.

Then my smile melts away as I remember the last time that happened.

“She’s like a dead fish… Imagine having to fuck that.”

I should get up. I know I should get up, but the thought of going downstairs, of dealing with another slap in the face, cruel rejection like that means I stay right where I am.

Nearly two minutes pass this way. I can’t stay here forever, and sooner rather than later, I’m going to have to move. Potentially even speak to Chris about the fact I said last night was a one night thing, yet somehow, it turned into an again the next morning thing.

I told him about Harlan’s cruelty. He didn’t laugh at me. Didn’t look at me with pity or disgust. He was furious. But not at me.

I don’t know what I had expected, but it hadn’t been for him to side with me.

From the shadows in the room and the overcast day outside, it must be early afternoon. My stomach grumbles louder than it ever has before. Courtesy, no doubt, of all the delicious food that’s been coming its way since Chris entered my life. Now it wants more.

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