Page 39 of Defeated

She didn’t bring the paella. Two strong looking chefs in white carried the steaming thing out between them. It’s a two-person job, apparently.

“Thanks.” I take the plate gratefully and wait until he’s dished up his own serving before I pick up my fork.

It’s only when I’ve eaten a mouthful that I realize I’ve never been on a date before.

Not one.

Instantly, I’m hyper aware that I’m on a date. One I instigated, and one I have no idea what I’m supposed to do. We eat, and then what? Am I supposed to think of a conversation? Or him? Will he expect a kiss after or… or something more?

Or maybe?—

“Did I do something wrong?”

I nearly drop my fork at Chris’s quiet question, saving it from disappearing forever into the Olympic-sized swimming pool that is our paella.

A frown pulls on the corners of his eyes as he studies me. “You look terrified.”

“Terrified?” I squeak.

He nods.

That’s because I am.

I scramble to explain how I’ve gotten so used to running, I don’t know how to stay. Or talk. Or do any of those normal everyday things that he will expect me to do.

I worry I look like a constipated deer caught in headlights, eyes darting desperately around as I work out what to say.

I hadn’t been this terrified or awkward during breakfast. In Colton’s house, we were just eating breakfast. But here… with the waitress who assumed we were on a date, the romantic music, the empty restaurant, and the ambience…

Here is different.

I’m getting ready to abandon my fork, this yummy smelling paella, and dart out the door when Chris offers me a faint smile. “I think I get it.”

He does?

I don’t see how he could when I haven’t said a thing.

“Do you know how many questions I had to dodge on my way here?”

I abandon running. For now. “I don’t understand.”

“I’m used to the quiet of Winter Lake. Before that, I was used to keeping to myself, people leaving me alone, and dodging questions.”

And I forget about running altogether because I think he does get it. “But you have a pack. Surely you’re used to…” I let my voice trail off when he shakes his head.

“My packmates,” he speaks so quietly our server at the front of the restaurant couldn’t overhear us even if she strained, “understand I don’t like being the center of attention, and they accept that I prefer to stand at the edge of a party instead of the middle.”

“But your friend Penny…” Again, I let my voice trail off at Chris’s sudden smile.

“Penny is an exception. I can’t stay angry at Penny for long when her questions are born from the need to make everyone around her happy.”

Suddenly he’s eating and I’m eating and we’re just… talking.

Until I decide now is the perfect time to declare. “I’ve never been on a date before.”

Because clearly, I’ve lost all ability to handle social situations. I run away, or I overshare by blurting out things I should keep behind my teeth.

His shoulders sag. Not the reaction I was expecting. “Me neither. I thought I’d done something wrong for you to look so scared.”

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