Page 123 of Mr. Monroe

“How the hell did you do that? You were a full-blown clinger with her. I’m positive you scared her off.”

I stared at him in disbelief at his likely true insults. “I probably was a bit much in the beginning, and I’m sure of that. However, I betrayed her trust, and from what I’ve gathered, that’s not something easily earned back.”

“So, you’re fixing me to get her back?”

I smiled. “I would be lying if I told you no, but after sitting here with you, I promise this is more than that. I see a good person who fell into a void, and I want to give him a hand and help him out. You’re a good kid, Shane, and I want to help you get back on your feet where you belong. You, your sister, and even I deserve to be happy in this life, despite what our fucked-up parents have done to derail it.”

“Yeah?”

“That and after this week, I no longer have a relationship with my brother. Perhaps I’ll take your ass in and work my way into your sister’s heart from there.”

“Glad I can help.”

My phone dinged, and it was probably Avery’s text.

“Let’s stop worrying about everyone and everything else and give you the help you need.”

He stood up, nervous.

“You can do this, but you need to do this for yourself above anyone else,” I said, trying to be his number-one cheerleader. “Do it for her memory.” I watched him stare out at the sprawling city that went on forever from the vantage point of my office window.

“Who?”

“Your mother,” I said, a bit nervous that I’d overreached on that statement.

He turned back to me, tears in his eyes, “She’d be so upset with me.”

“We’re not doing that,” I said sternly. “None of that shit, you hear me?”

“It’s the fucking truth.”

“That’s fine,” I said, “but you need to talk about the positive.”

He shook his head, “I don’t know how the fuck you find anything positive in that truth.”

“The solution is where you’ll find the positive.”

“The only solution is to make her proud. The opposite of what I’m doing.”

I nodded. “Let’s go make that fucking happen, then.” I extended my hand toward the door and felt a little bit more confident this kid might do the time and get straight.

While Shane was cleaning up his act, I was going to finish getting answers on Natalia’s father. She was already angry with me, so the least I could do with my fuck-up was give her information that could be useful to her. There was more to her father and what he’d done; I just didn’t know what that was.

I vowed to Shane that I would be there on his meeting days and any other time he needed a friend or someone for mental support. He didn’t want to inform Natalia about checking into rehab because she’d seen him be unsuccessful many times before, and he didn’t want to make any promises he couldn’t keep. And that only fueled me to stick through this with him.

The loss of Natalia was a constant and steady tear in my heart, but I was learning to ignore the pain. How could it hurt to lose someone when, looking at it in the rearview, I’d never really and truly had her? The demons of our past swarmed around us the moment I introduced her to my mother.

I’d seen Nat as great sex and personality, which is why I believed it was okay to put her up against my mother. In the end, that burned my ass to the ground. But I didn’t care what it did to me. I cared that it hurt an innocent woman who, no matter how strong she appeared to be, was only human.

Chapter Thirty-Nine

SPENCER

I paced through the office, having just returned from a session with Nat’s brother. After only a month, the kid’s progress was blowing my mind. He was conquering his demons and slaying the shit out of everything that’d held him down for too damn long. Of course, I knew he had a road to travel before we could celebrate, but I didn’t hold back my acclamations every time I was there.

He’d switched from drug use to cigarettes, and I’m sure Nat would’ve kicked my ass for being his outside supplier, but I wasn’t complaining. He’d come a long way, and we’d work on his nicotine habit down the road.

I got to the office early, stopped in the café to get my morning cappuccino, and went to my office.

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