Page 49 of Dr. Brandt

“You told me to be safe and to follow my dreams, no matter where they lead.”

“I know,” I said, eyes wide with shock that this dick still wasn’t getting it, “and that got me a stupid thumbs up? It’s bullshit, and now I’m fucking pissed again.”

“Jessa,” he said, staring at me with some sad expression, “I read what you wrote, and I knew if I saw you, I wouldn’t leave, and I wouldn’t have been able to say goodbye. So, after reading what you wrote, I just tried to end it as easily as possible for both of us.”

“And you really thought a thumbs up was the way to do that?” I sighed. “I need to go. And I didn’t mean to drop an I love you bomb just now. I’m going through a lot, and I’m convinced I may be having a mild nervous breakdown.”

“You may be because I had no idea that a thumbs-up emoji would be why I can never have another chance to prove myself to you.”

“It would take a whole hell of a lot,” I said, softening up a little, the panic of saying I love you fading. “I never expected our relationship ending would make me hate an emoji, but it has, and it’s going to take a whole hell of a lot to—” I stopped and looked at the sudden sincere sadness on Cameron’s face. “Why did you really respond that way, like what we had wasn’t a big deal?”

His lips tightened. “Because I knew I was making the biggest mistake of my life by leaving you. What we had was a very big deal to me, Jessa. After reading what you wrote, I cried for the first time since my sister died. I didn’t want to leave you, but I knew I couldn’t pass up the opportunity.” He cocked his head to the side, staring at me, then looking back to the house, “I can’t say that I regret my decision because I don’t believe in regrets. We all make decisions that lead us where we need to be. If I hadn’t gone, I wouldn’t have the career I have now, and I wouldn’t have been able to help all the children I’ve been privileged to help.

“Jessa, I have to believe that there are bigger forces in the universe at work. Maybe I left while you were pregnant with our son so I’d be able to save him one day. It’s a thought, and I’ve seen too many miracles in my day-to-day work to dismiss it.”

Cameron’s excuse was something that I’d ordinarily counter with a snide remark, but it resonated deep within me. Cam wouldn’t have tried as hard as he did to succeed if he knew I was pregnant, which was why I never told him. He would’ve stayed with me and missed out on all the incredible opportunities that ultimately landed him as the top pediatric neurosurgeon in the country. And if that had happened, there would be no one to help our son now. Looking through that lens, it seemed like divine intervention.

“What are you thinking?” Cameron asked curiously.

“You’re right,” I nodded. “When I think about it that way, I get it. But I think we should keep all this focused on reuniting for Jackson’s health and not our relationship.”

“What if Jackson’s health depended on our relationship?”

“Now, you’re just making shit up,” I softly laughed. “Listen, I need to get Jackson home. I need some time to think.”

“Come with me to Monterey. Allow me an opportunity to gain a bit more trust—”

“Cameron,” I said softly, “you don’t need us to go on a road trip with you and your friends to assess Jackson’s strengths and weaknesses for this surgery. Please stop trying to do this.”

“Do what, Jessa? I want to get to know the kid a bit better. I’m virtually bound by law with my friends’ kids, and I’d like to take these next two days off to spend some time around Jackson. I want to help him trust me as his surgeon.”

I narrowed my eyes at him, “Bound by law?”

“Mm-hmm,” he nodded with fake-serious eyes, “these kids are no fucking joke. I don’t think I’ve ever met a five-year-old as lethal as Jacob Mitchell’s son. With his icy gaze, that kid could likely freeze you where you stand.”

I rolled my eyes, “Icy gaze? What is he, the frost king?”

“It’s what I’ve got him labeled as anyway,” Cameron said.

“I’ll see if Jackson’s feeling up for it.”

“Great,” Cameron said with more excitement than I imagined he should have. But then again, this was Cameron; he was a big kid in a grown man’s body ninety percent of the time. “I’ll have a car pick you two up tomorrow and bring you to the airport.”

“Airport?”

“You’re not going to want to drive there if you don’t have to. It’ll be worth it, trust me.”

“Last time you asked me to trust you, you dumped me with an emoji.”

“Now you’re just making that story eviler than it really was.”

I shrugged.

“I think this will do Jackson good,” Cameron said, nearly marching me up to the house as if we were leaving for the airport this instant. “With what I have planned, this could help Jacks explore other passions outside of sports.”

“Huh?”

“You’ll see.”

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