Page 95 of Dr. Brandt

I closed my eyes, grateful that Jacks would wake up again but scared about what would happen if we didn’t do the surgery and if we did. I felt like I was backed into a corner. “What if we do this?” I stopped myself. “What if I tell you to do the surgery, and he wakes up paralyzed and never forgives us for taking out half of his brain without permission?”

I saw the faintest look of relief wash over his face. “I talked to Jake while you were in the back room on the plane,” he said. “Jake told me that he and Collin spent some time working out some details of what life would be like if he opted out of the surgery.”

“Working out some details? How?”

“Well, you know that Collin is a neurosurgeon, and though pediatrics is not his specialty, he also deals with epileptic patients. He shared a few stories with Jacks, making it more real for the kid. Jacks realized that he’d be foolish not to have it. He agreed—” he paused, and I could see tears in his eyes.

I watched as a tear slipped out of the corner of his eye, running down to the dark stubble of his cheek. “So, he was willing to have the surgery?”

“Yes. Fuck, I can’t let these emotions get into my head. I’m doing a good job keeping them pushed down.” He sniffed, then shook his head and frowned. Finally, he looked at me with glaring sincerity. “I’m so sorry I didn’t see this coming. I’m sorry to you and Jacks, but I promise I will make this right and fix him. I will bring him back to us with a healthier brain.”

“Stop apologizing, and just fix our son, Cameron,” I said. I was feeling a million emotions but holding onto one—determination.

I knew Jackson would get better, and he would beat the odds.

“I have more blood work, labs, and scans coming back. If I feel confident in what I see and that he will do well in this state and surgery, I want to schedule it for the morning after tomorrow.”

“Isn’t that a bit soon?” I questioned, then saw the severity in Cam’s eyes and nodded. “I understand you probably know more about all of this than I do but are you sure you’re ready for this?”

“I wouldn’t consider this surgery if I wasn’t,” he said.

“I need to be sure you’re doing this prepared, ready, and not just doing this because we screwed up by taking a vacation and shirking our responsibilities to our son, not pushing him to have surgery earlier.”

Cameron’s face grew dark, “I understand why you might believe I couldn’t perform a surgery because—”

“Stop,” I said, crying again and then hugging him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”

“Jessa,” he pulled me back and stared intently into my eyes, “I understand your fears and concerns. I have not given you much to go off while being Jackson’s doctor by only doing fun things while bonding and enjoying our time together.”

I nodded because it was true; deep down, that’s how I felt about Cameron. Was he the responsible doctor he said he was? He sure hadn’t been acting like it.

“I need you to push all of that away, though, and trust that I've been watching him even when I was enjoying my time with you both. I’ve mentally processed how he behaves in and out of the seizures and how he behaves coming out of them. This is my field of expertise, so while you may think I’ve been screwing off, I’ve been paying close attention. I needed to know if he was a strong enough candidate for this surgery, and I can confidently say that he will most likely surprise us in time with how well he does in recovery. On the surface, perhaps I made it appear like I was just messing around with him, but that couldn’t be farther from what I was doing.”

“I just need to be certain you’re doing this for the right reasons,” I said. “I need to be sure that his doctor is making the decisions and not his dad, who could possibly feel guilt that this even happened.”

It was harsh, and I knew it. But my son was facing brain surgery while in a coma performed by a man who just happened to be his newfound dad. So, I needed reassurance that Cameron wasn’t trying to make up for anything—like I could see myself doing.

His features darkened even more; now, he was the cold, handsome surgeon I saw when he walked into this room a few minutes ago.

“I would never cut into a child because I felt guilt or remorse for lack of judgment,” his tone matched his grave expression. “That is how mistakes, botched surgeries, and even death happen on the surgical table. I pride myself on putting my patients and their good before my own. I will never get greedy in the surgical room, and I ask that you trust me on that.”

I pinched my lips together, feeling somewhat intimidated by the tall man standing before me. I didn’t know this man, and I thanked God he finally introduced himself to me. I needed to believe my son was in good hands and not in the hands of the man who had swept me off my feet for an entire month. I didn’t want the crazy, wild, and goofy Cameron anywhere near my son, and I sure as hell didn’t want a remorseful Cameron operating on him.

I wanted this asshole—the arrogant surgeon who knew his shit—to save my son from the hell I allowed him to go through because I was too busy believing that life owed me for a change.

“Before I came in to get you, Jake told me that the girls have been trying to contact you. I informed them about what happened when you saw Jacks in the room and that you were lying down.”

“I can check my phone later,” I said coldly. I didn’t care who was trying to get ahold of me. I needed to see my son. “Take me to Jacks. I want to be with him. I think I’ve spent enough time this month putting myself first.”

“I just wanted to let you know that the ladies are here at the hospital if you’d like the company. I will be going over many things to assure that Jacks will do well in surgery.”

“While I appreciate that, I don’t plan on leaving his side until he’s taken into surgery,” I said. “Warren and my parents should be here tonight, so I’ll have his support when he gets here.”

“Warren?” Cam’s expression darkened.

“Don’t start,” I said. “You need to let me deal with this my way, Cam. Warren has been a huge part of Jackson’s life. In fact—”

I paused.

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