Page 77 of Dr. Brandt

“I agree,” I said. “There have been many times where I’ve seen you in him out on that field.”

His face grew sad. “I hate that I’ve missed so much.” He shook his head as soon as my mouth dropped open to protest, “No, I understand why, but I still hate it. And I hate that I walked away from you.” His hand tenderly ran along my jawline, “I fucking walked away, allowing who knows how many men to come into your life and pretend that they could love you as much as I did and will.”

“I think we can make up for that,” I smiled at him. “We will.”

He grinned. “You bet your sexy little ass we will.” He kissed my nose, “As much as I want you and Jacks to enjoy the rest of your time on this yacht over the next week, I’d think it would be nice if you both came back with me tomorrow. No pressure, but I wanted you to know how I feel.”

“Well, I hadn’t decided what we would do yet.” I covered my eyes, “Shit! How are we supposed to tell Jacks any of this?”

“What, that I’m his father, and I’m the reason he’s a little badass?” He ran his hands up my back reassuringly, “Or that his mother is fucking his brain surgeon?”

I rolled my eyes, “Turns out, both things may need to be discussed since they equally relate and hold significant value in his life.”

“Why don’t we go with the flow?” he suggested. “There’s a lot to consider with the surgery. His rehab will be a process as it is, and we need him in high spirits, with no distractions. I would suggest not giving him any added concerns regarding his doctor being his biological father and his mother giving his dad second chances after he fucked it up the first time.”

“You don’t know Jacks, though, Cam,” I argued. “This kid has a hopeful heart of gold. He’s the most selfless kid I know. He’s so positive about everything.”

I brushed his finger over the top of my nose and smiled. “Like his mother,” he bent and kissed my forehead, “however, I see a lot of myself in that boy, and when it came to my mother, I was extremely protective.”

“Yeah, well, as you just said, Jacks has my blood running through his veins, too,” I said with a smile.

He shook his head. “I see how he is with you,” he smiled. “He loves his mother very much, and if he learns I hurt you, he may not trust me with the surgery, Jessa. I’m not sure I want to take that chance.”

I stepped back away from Cameron, suddenly stressed about this predicament.

“Why can’t things just be normal? For Jacks? For me?” I said mainly to myself, walking towards the sliding glass windows.

I folded my arms and leaned my forehead against the window, staring out at the vast ocean. Why couldn’t anything in my life be fucking easy? I got a taste of living carefree and happy for a couple of hours with Cameron. It was heavenly and blissful, probably the only reason I dozed off and woke up, forgetting where I was.

I needed that. I needed to let go and live dangerously, and for the first time in sixteen years, I needed to feel this man’s loving attention.

And now, there was another fucking mountain I did not want to climb.

Cam’s arms went around my waist, and I felt the warmth of his bare chest against my back as he leaned over me, his lips pressed onto the top of my head. “We’ll manage this together, Jessa, but I don’t want to stress out Jacks about anything. I may be wrong in my assumption of his reactions to our history and present situation, but if I’m not—I don’t want to find out what happens if I’m right.”

“I understand,” I answered, letting my head fall back against his chest. “One thing at a time.” I let out a breath, thankful I was in his strong arms and feeling the love he kept professing to me. “I’m glad I have you back. I’ve missed you more than I knew.”

His embrace was tighter around me. “I will never hurt you again. Let’s work together to get our son healthy, and we’ll worry about making announcements later.”

I inhaled deeply. “I love hearing you say our son,” I said, rubbing my hands over his forearms.

“I love saying it,” he said. “I know this will sound cheesy as fuck, but the truth is that I feel like I’m whole now. I have my family. This is the most unexplainable feeling in the entire world.”

I wanted to add to what Cam said but staying silent felt right. I knew exactly what he was saying. I probably felt it more than he did. Many nights I’d cried myself to sleep, wishing I’d had him in my and Jackson’s life. One of them being the night Jacks was born. I would’ve given anything to see the look on Cam’s face when his newborn son was placed in his arms.

There were many things I’d found myself wanting Cam to be there for, but I permanently moved away from those thoughts because they were too painful. I’d moved forward, and when those thoughts hit me, it was like taking ten steps back.

I wanted to tell Jacks everything, but I was all for following Cam’s advice and keeping away from all stressful situations. Learning his doctor was his bio father would certainly trip him out, and of course, Cam was right. Jacks was very protective of me, but I knew in my heart that my boy wanted his mom to be happy.

Chapter Thirty-Three

Cam

I’d love to say that having my lady back in my arms felt like I’d never lost her, but I could sense the change that time had caused. It wasn’t a bad thing, but something haunted me, knowing I’d missed so much.

A week ago, I wouldn’t have given a fuck about the time and distance between us. I would’ve just been grateful that this beautiful woman and my son were in my life, and I would do everything in my power to keep them happy until the day I checked out of this life. However, now I was having a strange download of emotions, filling the void I’d never known existed without them in my life.

“Hey, man,” Collin said as he joined me, eating lunch alone in the hospital cafeteria.

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