“Now, say what’s on your mind,” Jim said.
“I’m not talking about my personal shit,” I said. “Seriously.”
“Are you concerned about Jackson and the surgery?” Collin questioned, knowing that on the rare occasion I wasn’t in a light-hearted mood, it was because of a patient.
I wanted to lie and say yes.
“Nah, man,” I said, then forced a fake smile. “I just slept like shit last night.”
“Well, you flew that chopper like the dreamboat pilot you are,” Jake said, always acting like a dipshit to lighten the mood.”
“Totally dreamy,” Collin said, with the same dipshit humor as Jake’s.
“Why don’t you two idiots make sure the ladies and kids are settled while I help Cam finish up?” Jim said, casting them a knowing glance.
I remembered the days when I was as much of a fuck-off as these two, but those days seemed to slip away as soon as I saw Jessa again. Since then, I’d been struggling with the guilt of leaving her and beating myself up over letting her go.
I was dealing with all that fallout, and I hated it. I wanted to get the fuck off this vacation, walk back into my hospital, and bury myself in work to avoid seeing Jessa and Jackson until they decided on this surgery. Then, I could perform the operation, help Jackson during his recovery, and then we’d move on with our lives. It would be precisely what Jessa fucking wanted it to be; me as the surgeon, and that was it. What else could I do at this junction without detrimentally affecting my son?
“I’m finished here, man. You can go with the guys,” I said, looking around and wondering why Jim was hanging back.
“Seriously, dude. Are you okay? You don’t look right,” Jim said, tilting his head as if examining me.
Ah, shit. What was it about Jim? All he had to do was flash his goddamn CEO expression to make us all feel like we had no choice but to spill our guts. There was no use in playing coy. He was like a human lie detector.
“It’s Jessa,” I admitted. If there ever was someone to air out your problems to, Jim was the man. Might as well rip off the band-aid and get some advice, wanted or unwanted.
Jim’s emerald green eyes looked like jewels when he pulled off his aviators and smiled with a knowing grin.
“I know,” he said.
“And how would you know that?”
“If the problem were that you couldn’t perform surgery on the boy, you would’ve mentioned something about that this morning when you sat silently next to me, drinking your coffee.”
“So what makes you think Jessa has anything to do with it?” I asked, irritated this fucker could read all of us like books.
“Because neither one of you could so much as look in the other’s direction when she came in to get coffee for herself. And once she left, you looked like a boy who’d just lost his balloon.”
I turned to walk toward the door that admitted us into the staff corridors of the yacht.
Jim was one observant son of a bitch. That’s why he was so fucking successful in business. The man was forever reading the room and quietly observing things on a much deeper level than the rest of us.
“You know, one day, you’ll give yourself a day off and stop worrying about everyone who crosses a room that you’re in,” I said, smiling at a brunette waitress who was part of the staff.
“Good morning, gentlemen,” she said, holding a tray filled with different fruits and giant muffins. “Can I get you anything?”
“We’re all good. Thank you,” Jim said.
“I need to shake this fucking mood or get off the damn yacht,” I said. “I have no idea why I’m feeling like this.”
Jim smirked, “Let me guess. You tried to sneak into her room last night to get laid, and she nailed you in the balls before kicking you out. Am I close?”
“Ha, ha,” I said dryly, following the winding stairs to the next floor. “Finally, your ass is stumped. I should leave you to wonder as payback for being so observant.”
“Cam,” he said with a laugh I knew he tried to hold in, “what the hell happened? I’ve never seen you in such a shitty mood in all the years I’ve known you.”
“I fucked everything up,” I said in defeat. “I walked away from the only person I’ve ever loved, and now, here she is, back in my life as punishment. I can’t live like this.”