“Everyone has left,” she said. “It’s just us here now.”

Jenna walked me to the door, giving me a kiss in the doorway. “Let me know as soon as you find out, okay?”

“I will.”

I squeezed my eyes tight, fighting the hangover I was suffering from all the drinking I had done the previous night. It occurred to me, ironically, that if I turned out to be pregnant, it was pretty idiotic to drink a bottle of wine all alone.

The thoughts I tried to avoid the night before now assaulted me. I was not nearly as sure of myself as I had tried to play with Jenna. I am freaking terrified! A baby would surely turn my life upside down, and I felt sick to my stomach as I imagined what it would be like to have the conversation with my father and brother.

I looked out the window as we entered the hospital complex, trying to find courage and failing terribly. I stepped into the reception area and could hear my heart racing. No going back now, I thought to myself as I approached the nurse’s station.

“Good day, ma’am,” one nurse, a matronly-looking woman, said to me with a smile as I approached the counter. “How can I help you today?”

“Err… I would like to take a pregnancy test,” I said, looking sideways uncomfortably.

“Of course,” the nurse said, still smiling. “Please come with me.” She slid a form on a clipboard and went around the counter. She led us behind a pair of double doors to a private room. She rummaged through a cabinet, quietly humming as she did. Shortly after, she handed me a small plastic cup, pointing me to a toilet. “Please pee in this.”

I took the plastic cup quietly and headed to the toilet. I tried to keep my mind empty as I peed into the cup. There is no point in bothering myself with assumptions when I will find out the outcome of the test in a few minutes.

I handed back the clipboard and cup to the nurse, then followed her out of the room. She pointed me to a deserted waiting area while she headed in the opposite direction.

I must have dozed a bit because I blinked awake to see the nurse gently shaking my shoulder. She smiled when I came to. “Please come with me; the doctor will see you now,” she said.

Alright then, let’s get this over with. I followed her to the elevator, up three floors and down a wide corridor. She knocked and then pushed me into a spacious office with a lovely view. The doctor smiled from behind his desk, gesturing to a chair. He thanked the nurse as she left. “Hello, Ms. Alessia,” he said, sliding a file to me. “I will get right to it with little ado. Your test shows you’re three months pregnant. Congratulations.”

In a small part of my mind, I thanked the doctor for being so direct and saving me the tension. A ripped-off band-aid still stung, even if only briefly. I did not know how to react to the information I had just received. It stunned me into silence. I had no idea where my life would go from here. I had tried to keep my mind open and not think about scenarios. Now, I had to confront everyone.

I looked up at the doctor’s smiling face. “Are you sure? It has not been a mistake?”

His smile grew weak, and he shook his head at me. “I assure you, Ms. Alessia, that this is your result. I could run the test again if it would make you feel better?”

I looked at him quietly, considering if it was worth it. “But how? I took a pill afterward and have experienced no irregularity with my periods - and no sickness at all.”

“I understand your confusion,” the doctor said, interlocking his fingers. He looked at me sympathetically. “There are rare occasions such as this, but I assure you this result is yours. Earlier, we could run it again if you want?”

I shook my head, feeling suddenly tired. “That won’t be necessary. Thank you, doctor.” I stood up and put the test result in my bag, a million thoughts swirling in my head.

I made my way down to the parking lot, my head foggy. I sat on a bench under a tree and called Jenna. She picked up almost immediately. “Hi, Alessia, how did it go?”

I wanted to respond but couldn’t formulate the words. The words would not come, no matter how hard I tried.

“Oh my God,” Jenna said, and I heard a flurry of activity on her end. “I’m coming to you now. Stay put.” She clicked off.

It seemed like only a few seconds had passed when I saw Jenna scurrying toward me. She sat on the bench beside me, putting an arm around me. “I don’t know what to do,” I admitted in a quiet voice. “I don’t know where to go from here.”

“How about you do nothing just yet, hmm?” she mused. “You only just found out, so there is no point rushing into action. Give yourself time to process it.”

I nodded. “Did you speak to the others?” I turned to look at her.

“Right after we spoke. All negative.”

I bent my head, angry and sad. All I wanted to do was scream till my throat bled.

“I believe things happen for a reason, Alessia,” Jenna said, squeezing my arm. “You could not stop thinking about Michael; you had the best time with him, and now you have his baby. I think this could be really good for both of you. Take the time to process this, then call him. He deserves to know that he has a baby on the way.”

I took a deep breath and nodded, not seeing the point in arguing with her. We walked to her car together, and I contemplated the reality of motherhood.

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