Page 73 of Daring Enzo

She grabs the lapels of my jacket, pulling me to her and deepening the kiss. My hands tighten around her to close the gap. She groans, kissing me with favor. I pull away, remembering where we are. It’s been a long time since we were able to do this; and although I’d like to get lost in her, I can’t allow it to happen now, not in public. As she hugs me, I vow I’m going to do my best to make sure I don’t mess things up again.

29

Kelly

It’s been two weeks since our first date; and so far, everything has been going smoothly. Enzo is currently in the living room, playing with Camillo, who has finally allowed his dad to be near him. It had taken hours on his first visit for Camillo to be comfortable enough to be in the same space without crying his eyes out.

The sound of his giggles reaches me in the kitchen, where I’m currently washing Camillo’s dishes while Enzo entertains him.

“Who’s a good boy?” Enzo’s baby talk makes Camillo laugh. I imagine him reaching for his dad with those chubby little fingers.

I clean the plates before hurrying to join them. I pause and take in the sight in front of me, a wide smile stuck on my lips.

“I sure hope he hasn’t tired you out,” I say. His head snaps in my direction, and he returns my grin.

“I don’t think I could ever grow tired of playing with him. I’ll take it over having him run away from me.”

The first few days weren’t easy on either of them. Camillo was antsy in the presence of this strange man who constantly tried to reach out. As for Enzo, his lack of progress daunted him, although he always wore a brave smile.

“I’m sorry about all of it, Enzo,” I apologize, but he shakes his head.

“What have I told you about apologizing? If anything, I should be the one to apologize,” he says, scratching the back of his neck.

"Remember how I cried when he first called me, Daddy?" Enzo confessed.

I laughed, the awkwardness of the moment disappearing as the memory of the day resurfaced. “I found it endearing. I was a mess the first time he called me Mommy, and I certainly cried some more when he took his first step. I have it all on tape if you ever wish to see it.”

“I would love it... all of it. Thank you, Kelly,” he says warmly.

“Daddy,” Camillo’s soft voice distracts us, pulling at Enzo’s attention.

I’ve always loved the excited glow on Enzo’s face when Camillo called him Daddy, almost like he is reliving the experience all over again.

“Yes, my darling boy.”

I watch as the two of them drift into their world, their heads pulled together.

Alessia arrived not long after our conversation, and her visit stirred a whirlwind of emotions. When she first held Camillo, tears streamed down her face. Unlike his reaction to Enzo, Camillo, having seen Alessia's face on video chats, giggled and reached out for her, comfortable in her embrace.

As Camillo played contentedly in Alessia's arms, she shared with me, "I talked to Enzo. I apologized for my part in keeping things hidden. It was hard, but he opened up about what happened with our mom. It's strange, but I don't feel that void anymore when I think of her."

Her eyes clouded with a mix of sadness and relief. "Knowing the weight Enzo's been carrying all these years... it's a lot. But we've forgiven each other. It feels like we're finally moving past our old hurts."

Enzo's face lit up as he talked about his time at Preston Community Center. "You wouldn't believe the progress some kids have made," he said, a note of pride in his voice. "Ruben's graduating high school soon—I'm going to be there cheering him on."

“They also make my life better," he said when I told him how impressed I was.

His humility resonates with me. The old him would have taken advantage of how impressed I was to score points… but the new version doesn’t seem to care.

So far, there’s only been one problem in our relationship. Enzo hasn’t made a move on me. I’ve been holding myself back, partly because I don’t want to force him into anything… and because I’m shy.

From the last time Enzo saw me, my body had changed. Always curvy, I've become fuller since Camillo's birth. I can't help but wonder if that's why Enzo keeps his distance, unable to voice his thoughts. My insecurities keep me from expressing my desires for him, and his silence only deepens my doubts. It's a painful limbo, where even a confirmation of my fears feels too devastating to face, so I skirt around the subject, trapped by my apprehensions.

I sigh as I rinse the last of the dishes, biting my lower lip to stave off the urge to say something. I remember what our relationship used to be like. We’ve always been physical, unable to stay in a room together without tearing our clothes off.

Things have been different. He hasn’t gotten close to me, and he doesn’t seem to feel the same urgency when he kisses me. While his kisses speak of his love, it doesn’t possess the old fire.

He loves me, but he doesn’t want me.

---