Page 76 of That Secret Something

“What about ruining everything else, Rebecca?” Lily cried. “Did you ever think of anyone but yourself? Hope the bragging rights are worth it.”

Was it just a game to her? A challenge, just like Lily said? Did it mean anything?

Rebecca grabbed my face, forcing me to turn my head. But I couldn’t. It hurt too much to look at her. “Jess, it’s not like that,” Rebecca pleaded. “I wouldn’t do that.”

I forced myself to look at her, even though the sadness in her eyes broke my heart.

Fuck. This hurts. I tried to wipe the tears from my face, but they just kept on coming.

Lily pushed her off me. “Yes, she would. Trust me, I know her better than anyone. All she thinks about is herself. She’s just jealous.”

Rebecca shoved her back, and Lily stumbled. “You don’t know me. You’re the selfish one, Lily. You don’t give a shit about anyone else’s feelings.”

If anyone had missed the start of the confrontation on the field, they certainly weren’t missing it now.

The two sisters began scrapping with each other, tugging and pushing, hands flying, until some of Rebecca’s teammates separated them.

Sally wailed in the background, comforted by Rebecca’s coach.

“Stay away from me! Both of you!” Lily screamed, fighting the grip on her arms. “Let go of me!” She finally managed to get free and stormed off through the crowd and out of sight.

I was humiliated. Both of them knew. Both of them acted like my feelings were irrelevant. Like my opinion didn’t matter. Like I was incapable. Unimportant.

My whole body ached.

Rebecca reappeared at my side, having shaken off the restraints of her teammates. “Jess, please. Talk to me.”

Thankfully, I couldn’t see her perfect face through my blurry eyes. I pushed her away.

“Leave me alone, Rebecca.” Everything hurt. My chest squeezed so hard I couldn’t breathe. My splintered heart stabbed my ribcage, and I forced my legs to move.

Away from the crowds of people. Away from all the voices and all the secrets. Away from the love of my life.

The skies opened up again overhead, proving one thing to be true.

When it rained, it poured.

Twenty-Five

My best friend’s wedding was in five days, but she wasn’t speaking to me—or I wasn’t speaking to her, which meant the same thing: an absolute shitshow. In all the time I’d known Lily, we’d never had an argument that lasted longer than a dinner break. Maybe we were growing apart. Maybe I’d finally found the courage to speak up for myself.

Or maybe it had a little something to do with her sister.

Rebecca had tried to call me a few times, but since I’d asked her not to, she was respecting my space. Which now I stupidly hated. How could I simultaneously want to be around someone and also want to stay away from them? It was a paradox I couldn’t get my head around.

I’d never expected my good intentions to come bite me in the arse so hard. Rebecca’s family making the effort to watch her game meant that our own stash of secrets had come crashing down around us. I kept replaying the moments over and over in my head: Rebecca’s smile when her team had won, the sadness in Lily’s eyes, the two of them fighting. It was all such a mess.

Both of them had embarrassed me, and the idea of facing up to that made me shrivel inside. I just wanted to bury myself further into my duvet and never come out again. But even the stupid bed reminded me of Rebecca. Those images of her were seared into my memory forever; I’d have to burn this bed to rid them.

“Didn’t you hear me knock?”

Mum’s voice made me jump, and I pulled the covers away from my head. She stood in the doorway, eyebrows pinched together as she took in the disarray of my bedroom.

“No. I didn’t.”

She hovered awkwardly. “I had to use my key. I hope you don’t mind.”

I fought the urge to roll my eyes. Of course, I don’t mind. That’s why I gave you a key. Under normal circumstances, I’d be appalled at the scene my mother was witnessing. Right now, however, I just wished she’d leave me alone.

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